There is a huge difference between dating someone and seeing someone.
The word “dating” is being thrown around a lot. It’s a trend to say someone is dating someone even if they are seeing each other without being on a date. People are only hanging out and sleeping together, but tell their friends they are dating.
This is the slippery slope that will get you nowhere except the Danger Zone I talk about in my EGuides.
To avoid deluding yourself, you need to call it what it is. If you’re just having sex with him, say that. If you’re going over to his house to hang out, say that. If all he does is text you, say that. If he took you out once and stopped, say that.
Get the Prize Catch Dictionary so you know your dating terminology and stay realistic about what he is or isn’t doing.
Check your reality here:
1. If you’re seeing a guy, is it on a date he’s planned in advance?
2. When you’re with a guy, who planned it?
3. When you two eat together, who planned it? Where did you eat?
4. When you sleep with a guy, did he make you exclusive first?
5. When you text back and forth, is it about a date he’s discussing with you? An engagement? A marriage proposal?
6. Or is it chitchat that just deprives you of your beauty sleep and strokes his ego?
When you’re just being with a guy, hanging out, or sleeping with him — you are not dating him. Only use the word “date” when he is making plans with you and following through.
Don’t deceive yourself to say you’re dating someone when there is no date to begin with.
And if a guy is dating you forever, never making you exclusive, then no, he is not your boyfriend. He is just a date. He isn’t even a suitor, because a man is a suitor to begin with in order to win your hand in marriage. A man doesn’t become your suitor just to keep you on permanent hold.
Be unflinchingly honest about what is happening. Then and only then will the right guy step up, and you will save valuable time and avoid unnecessary heartache.
How do you look at love? Deep down, are you yearning for the right guy to show up?
I ask because when you get burned too often, have been let down by dates or relationships too many times, or have suffered from breakup that has left a bitter taste in your mouth, it is easy to build a wall around your heart.
Be careful to not allow the fact that you’re “not settling” to lose heart and hope, denying yourself enjoyment of the opposite sex.
Of course, I’m talking to those who are still interested in dating and finding someone, even if you are single and manage to be happy.
Life gets busy and there are so many things to do that you can prioritize doing. But there is no need to deny yourself a chance for a relationship just because you don’t want to settle, are too busy or scared.
If life is a journey, make it an adventure — including your attitude toward love. Know you will be okay no matter what. Know you will take necessary precautions in being aware of the red flags that signal what isn’t boyfriend material. Know you don’t have to make a guy your boyfriend just because he shows interest. Certainly know you don’t dream of a wedding just because a guy has taken you out three times.
What happened to enjoying men’s company? I’m not talking about hanging out with some guy and getting attached without any sign of interest from him. That obviously leads to disappointment and wastes your time as well.
I’m talking about when you’re out and about, stay friendly and relaxed. Laugh easily. Be open to possibilities. Don’t stick to rigid standards that limit your chances.
Just because you don’t want to fall for a dud doesn’t mean you should live in a fortress surrounded by barbed wire and make yourself impossible to catch.
A Prize Catch needs to be caught. And caught again and again. It is not necessarily a one-time event. Failing to make it work the first, second, or a millionth time doesn’t mean YOU are a failure. It means you never gave up.
The adventure of life includes love itself. Sure you might get hurt. Especially if you aren’t aware of what can definitely hurt you as outlined in all my EGuides.
But you also might find love. The kind of love that brings out and expresses the love within you. Certain risks are worthwhile. It is up to you to decide what ones are worth taking so your adventure can begin.