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Don’t ask him for dating advice

December 29, 2013

He is not going to be giving you sound dating advice that looks out for YOU.

Why? He’s looking out for himself. He’s looking for what makes life easier for HIM.

Especially if…

He tells you he needs you to text him more often.

He tells you women should make the first move.

He tells you women should show more interest in a man to give him clues.

He tells you men shouldn’t have to pay for dates all the time.

He tells you to be more spontaneous and see him last minute.

He tells you to have sex with him because it feels right, not because he is your boyfriend.

He tells you to stop reading this blog.

Why? Because it requires him to step up and own his manhood and that’s too much work.

Why? Because he wants to do less for more.

He wants to enjoy the benefits without the effort or responsibility.

He wants to see how far he can go in making you take up the slack.

He feels it’s unfair he GETS TO BE A MAN!

So if you’ve ever heard a man say any of this stuff, it means really one thing: He doesn’t feel QUALIFIED for the job.

He doesn’t feel worthy enough. He doesn’t feel deserving of the best and going after it.

He believes it’s high time women take advantage of Equal Opportunity and do what men have always done.

What he doesn’t know is that there are women WHO HAVE TRIED!

Women HAVE chased men.

Women HAVE paid for dates.

Women HAVE proposed marriage, even paid for the wedding.

Women HAVE supported him financially, put a roof over his head, put him through school, secured him a job, and bought him a car.

Women HAVE played the male role and guess what happened?

IT BACKFIRED!

She ended up being frustrated, resentful, bitter and exhausted.

She ended up feeling unloved and used.

He took her so much for granted he sometimes ended up cheating on her.

So don’t fall for his advice because guess what?

You’ll pay for it — dearly and literally with money, time, emotional pain, STDs, and more.

Remember, your role as the PRIZE CATCH is a female role reserved for you. It is for your emotional safety.

He needs to stick to his role, and if he cannot, YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF A MAN HE IS.

Get the secret weapon in dating and relationships when you Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

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27 Comments
  1. stacie permalink

    I am 6 ft tall/blonde/slim and no man approaches me!! Please help me I am losing hope. People tell me I could date the boss man but the boss man hasn’t asked me out?

    • Anonymous permalink

      As a guy I don’t know what to tell you. I would have to gather more information about you besides the fact you’re 6 feet tall, blond, and slim. Maybe you’re:
      1. Not looking for love and just looking for a chase or an achievement.
      2. You expect too much out of a man when you’re dating him.
      3. You’re not looking in the right places.
      4. You aren’t emotionally stable enough to handle a man.
      These are just general assumptions and I would have to hear more about you in order to figure out why you aren’t where you want to be.

    • Stacie,

      Forget about the boss. If he wanted to date you, he would be asking you out already. Lots of men love tall women. Maybe in your social circle they don’t exist. So open up your world and participate in new activities!

      For a lot more detailed information specific to your situation, Get In-Depth Advice Now via confidential Email Exchange, or get your secret weapon in dating when you Order EGuides Today.

      Hope to help you further!

  2. Jewel permalink

    So glad I read this blog. I was starting to worry about how I was going to maneuver with this guy. But I just realized that I really don’t give a flying monkeys behind 😉 . I’m just gonna be my normal fun self, but let him take the lead. The only thing I’m curious about is that I’m used to dealing with guys that are more into playing the game, and being vague for the initial part of the dating stage, but this new guy that I met is so direct, and “says” he doesn’t play games, and I should tell him if I want to hang out and he will do the same with me. But, tbh, I’m a very traditional girl, and follow a mans lead and I more or less told him that in a general group convo we had earlier. All in all, which ebook would you suggest for the initial flirting/dating stage of meeting a guy?

    • Jewel,

      Welcome to the blog! Don’t give a flying monkey’s behind, because when you do, they stop chasing.

      I suggest getting “How to Show Interest in a Man” EGuide. It will explain why you should not be offering to hang out with him or initiate, and many other useful tips and what I call your Secret Arsenal.

      Chasing is a man’s domain. You do not help him out even when he looks like he’s fumbling for words or getting nervous. And if he’s vague, that means he’s not sure. Never assume without substantial proof!

    • P.S. Hooray you are letting men take the lead so you can sit back and do very little! That is what a Prize Catch is really about!

  3. Mina permalink

    Love this blog. Has opened my eyes to a lot of things. I’ve spent so much time questioning what I should and shouldn’t do when it comes to dating…and I’ve learned, I don’t need to do much! How awesome is that. All I need to do is sit back and let them come to me – and I’m a good looking single mom with my life together, so they do come – I just need to learn how to filter the time wasters.

    I just wasted 6 months on a loser who slowly got lazier and lazier. I believed his promises and BS and actually thought I was in love with him. Once, he flaked on me and couldn’t be reached for two days. When he saw how upset it made me, he claimed he didn’t know I “cared that much”. This actually convinced me that he flaked on me because he didn’t realize I liked him! It sent me into a “prove I care about him” routine that got more and more ridiculous. I am so ashamed now, looking back at the silly stuff I did, but I guess it was a lesson I needed to learn.

    I will no longer listen to such drivel – if a man can’t keep a date and doesn’t respect you enough to let you know his plans have changed, that tells you everything about him that you need to know.

    I will be sleeping like a princess tonight.

    • Mina,

      Thank you for posting your story! Hope everyone reads your testimony. Glad you learned that you don’t need to do much at all, and can now sleep like a princess!

  4. Sara permalink

    Please write an article about disappearing/reappearing men!! This is such a problem with men these days. Thanks

    • There’s no deal with disappearing men. They disappear because they don’t care about you and they reappear eventually to have some sex and some attention without much effort.

      • Sara permalink

        Yes, I agree that they don’t care enough. But these are situations in which no sex or commitment was involved. Just early dating…and then “poof” after months of “pursuit”. Then they just pop up like you are their BFF. I usually just ignore them, but some women like “Cherry Norris” advise that you “play dumb” and act like nothing happened. She says look at the situation as if YOU were the one they couldn’t forget rather than the one they weren’t “that into.”. I am not sure if that is good advice. The question is whether a PRIZE CATCH would even care that they fizzled out…and whether she would casually engage these men…or would a PRIZE CATCH make them realize the “consequences” of the disappearing act. lol…but it doesn’t matter much bc I agree that these type of men are not up to the job/ not suitors 9 times out of 10. Thanks

    • Sara,

      Yes, I agree. That’s why you must date multiple suitors so you don’t get too focused on one guy. I wrote about this topic in the EGuide “After the Date, Then What?” which is available for purchase.

      • Sara permalink

        Yes, thank you. Having multiple suitors is the key! Getting obsessed with one guy is bad.

  5. i’ve been chasing men all along and i didnt know that im selling myself short! now i know better and hope i can apply these new learnings. 🙂 i feel more empowered now than ever and now i know i dont have to chase men coz now i know my role. 🙂 before i stumbled on this blog, i did desperate things .. now il just live my life to the fullest, have a life, and learn from the past. thanks the One!

  6. wow. i never told my bf about this blog. 🙂 he might argue. but if in case he discovers this on his own, its okay. i love this blog! 🙂 love. love. love! the advices really helped me a lot to value myself more and more and live a PRIZED CATCH LIFE. its a good, good life. 🙂 Thank you so much the One for the priceless lessons i learned! 🙂

  7. Paris permalink

    I asked my Dad why certain “men” expect women to chase after them and do all of the work. He bluntly answered, “because that is what they saw their mothers do”. OUCH! Harsh, no? lol.

    Sure enough, in my experience with each of these guys that I’ve met or naively dated, either their mother chased for love or their father took advantage of being chased/ begged for love. Dad was right. None of these guys were trying to change this pattern nor genuinely search for love. They probably never will. They have a good thing going. It’s called easy game and they’re playing to win it.

    For the lack of a better example… and yes this one has blazing generalizations….If a man wants to buy a newly released $250 pair of Jordans, he doesn’t go Footlocker, caress the Reeboks and wait for the Jordans to convince him to buy it nor explain why it’s so special. No, the Jordans just sit there all pretty in the display with the price tag of $250, period. Pay the money or risk someone else buying it because ultimately someone else will gladly pay for it – no hesitations at all. That Jordan owner will wear it, show it off and protect it with his life. Accidentally step on it or scuff it and suffer the consequences. lol

    The man who truly wants the Jordans has already researched it 6 months ago and knows its release date. (hunt) He will stand in line at the crack of dawn to be the first to buy it. (plan) The man knows that the Jordans have a $250 requirement (worth & standards) and will find a way to get the money (work) to the get his ultimate prize (man wins, man is envied by his friends, world domination is next). Simple.

    Women trust your instincts. A red flag is a red flag. It’s not pink, fuchsia nor magenta – it’s flaming cherry bomb red. It will not change. Men know what they want from the beginning and don’t have to be convinced. They even tell you want they want in the beginning. You just have to listen.
    No respect now means no respect later. Chase him now, chase him later. You will not break his pattern. This is who he is. It’s not up to you to change him. You cannot change him. Why would you want someone that you have to change? Change to the next man but don’t attempt to change this time waster. Let the time waster scoop up the easy targets to do his bidding. Wait for a real man. Respect yourself and hold your head up high. Queens should never allow their crowns to fall. ; )

    Happy early New Years fist bump to you, The One! My apologies for intruding on your blog with this long comment but I had to get this off of my chest. Whew!

    • wow! right.

    • Sara permalink

      Yeah! Great way to think of it!!! I love this. Women need to stop making it so easy for men and stop making excuses!! Men will waste all the time and energy you have if you let them.

    • Paris,

      Intrusions like yours are welcome! And “flaming cherry bomb red” flags — haha…I love the way you write!

      Your Dad is so right. So, Moms out there, when you set the example, you’re teaching your daughters to be Prize Catches and your sons to be Suitors.

    • truthbetold permalink

      Thing is, the Jordan’s have no say in your “parable”, and, by sitting pretty waiting for the guy who pays the full requested price, they might easily end up being worn and protected by a guy with smelly feet.

      😉

  8. Sweetie187 permalink

    “you know what kind of man he is” (or isn’t!)

  9. Anne permalink

    The type of man he is: A Time Waster!
    🙂
    Another great post. Your blog has helped me a lot the past few months, recovering from a break-up, & dating again. Applying the guidelines on your blog I have stopped “pursuing” my ex, & have men asking me out during our date for the next date! If a guy texts & doesn’t ask me out, or doesn’t pursue- I don’t give him a second thought now bc he’s either not able, ready, or willing, to pursue. Next! I tell myself I’m a PRIZE every day, & men must initiate & pursue me, if they want my time. Now my ex is back in touch, initiating things with me. But until he asks me out, I’m keeping the attitude he’s a time waster.

    This can seem counter productive to how we’ve been taught to men at first, but it really is so easy & natural. It’s letting men be men, & women being women. Men respond bc it is so rare now for women to actually let men do their jobs. If he doesn’t, move on. Find someone who values & recognizes you as the prize you are! Be the woman, & the suitors start coming out of the woodwork!

    Thanks again for the wonderful information!

    • Anne,

      You’re welcome. You’ve got the right attitude and understanding! Let them come out of the woodwork and recognize you as the prize!

  10. Linda permalink

    Thank you The One! Yes! I remember being that bitter, frustrated, resentful woman because I didn’t know my role and took over his. It feels wonderful being in a place now where I know what my role is and know what his role is supposed to be. It’s been a learning process and continues to be; and I thank you for being ‘my’ personal guide, lol. Cheers!

    • Linda,

      Happy to be your personal guide anytime! Glad you are open and willing to learn, because that is how you brought yourself to the wonderful place you are in now. Thanks for posting!

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