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Inner confidence, outer ease

April 12, 2016

Confidence is not about proving it on the outside. Those who are outwardly confident as in being bold and brash are often inwardly insecure. By showing their power outwardly, they think this can compensate for what is lacking inside.

But it doesn’t work. It just works to fool others who buy into the act. But sooner or later, cracks start to show. They falter.

When you build a quiet confidence that comes from within, that lends toward the beginning of an outer ease that is authentic and real and lasts. That breezy way of going about your life becomes who you are and isn’t an act. It’s you. It looks effortless to others, why? Because the foundation is strong inside.

When I say to be breezy and nonchalant, it is hard to do if you’re feeling insecure or self-conscious. You have to pretend to be breezy and nonchalant. It is easy to do if you feel confident within. You won’t have to pretend. You can concentrate on enjoying yourself when you aren’t worried about keeping up the act.

Confidence in yourself as a woman takes time. It isn’t an overnight success. But the same inner confidence in a 30-year-old can be found in an 18-year-old. Some people just have it. Otherwise, just continue to work on your inner confidence as a worthy attractive woman as you go about your life as a Prize Catch!

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From → Posts

  1. Inaya permalink

    Hi …like you talked about how it’s important for a man to have a career and an identity ..this echoes with my situation right ….this guy have been in my life for 10 years now…he always made it clear he doesn’t believe in marriage but also expressed how mad he’s for me.He has several times decided to get married to me but backed out citing “I’m not sure what I want” ,”I don’t know why I should get married ” etc… he’s at the moment still struggling to make a mark , although he has a job ,he wants to achieve bigger things in life ,so doesn’t want to hurt me in the process ,as he says my well being is important ,or so he says….I care about him deeply but I’m confused , after breaking ,he has always asked me to keep in touch and be friends ..I always tried to move on …but he always comes – proposes marriage – backs off – then begs me to be friends .
    He’s a nice guy …so what do I do ? Should I remain friends with this person or I should just move on ?

    • Inaya,

      He’s not going to marry you until he is ready. When will he be ready? When he makes his mark? What if he still isn’t ready then? Guys who aren’t ready don’t make good husbands. So respect that he isn’t ready at all until he has taken you to city hall and signed marriage papers.

      Meanwhile, ask yourself what you get out of being friends with him. Will you be satisfied with that? If not, you must move on. If you decide to move on, you can tell him, “Since you’re not ready to get married, work on getting ready. Then when you are ready, let me know and if I’m still single, I will consider it. Till then, I’m moving on. It’s been ten year and I can’t wait around anymore.”

      The most important thing is your own happiness and what you’re willing to tolerate.

      • Anne permalink

        ”The most important thing is your own happiness and what you’re willing to tolerate.”
        So true!
        I think life is all about what behaviour you’re willing to tolerate from others. And I believe in moving on from someone, who doesn’t treat you in a way that you wish to be treated (in general). However. What could one do, when one is already too much emotionally attached to an individual? It is much harder to stick to your boundaries then. Much easier to make excuses as to why you tolerate this and that. And it is much harder to say no, to say goodbye, with the possibility that is will be a goodbye forever. Some people stick in bad relationships just because they don’t know that there is a better alternative than what they have right now. I hope I won’t be that person, when I get attached to someone and I’ll love someone very hard, I will be able to still stick to my boundaries.

        • Anne,

          You make a good point there, that even if you get attached to someone you’ll still be able to have boundaries. This can be done when you love and respect yourself. You may love someone else, but the love and respect you have for yourself will not and cannot be usurped by anything.

      • Inaya permalink

        Thanks so much for your advice 🤗
        Yes I’m not satisfied just being his friend , bcuz always getting hopeful , wanting more attention from him … which he has never given out
        Now I’m ready move on 😊

  2. Tiffany permalink

    Great information on quiet confidence. We as prize catches already have it. The key is to “flip on the power switch and keep it on”…..consciously and subconsciously!!

    • Tiffany,

      You’re so right. You already have it! Once it sinks into your subconscious, it’s there to stay.

  3. NinaNina permalink

    Dear One Truth,

    Hi. Hope you could post a little bit more often : )

    After reading about dating, I’d love to read about how to handle the housework once you’re married (in order to stay as a prize catch).

    Housework could be burdensome especially if you are a working mom, that you get rusted, worn out. Men do mens work and women do womens work? But womens work is a lot; cooking, washing, cleaning, etc. Its a heavy job.

    A topic on this might help us see how to be a good wife, a good mom (taking care of the kids and husband) but at the same time remain gracious, lovely, let men chase you (or in this case your husband).I’d love to cook for my family if I got married someday. Its not an easy task to work and cook at home I would say.

    Thank you, One Truth.

    • NinaNina,

      Good topic. Thanks for your input and I will see what I can do to address this issue.

  4. Anne permalink

    Great post, and very important one!

    I’d love to see some more like this, how to be more authentic, honest, and less self-conscius in interactions with men, or interactions with people in general, to whom we’re attracted to!

    Thanks One Truth!

    • Anne,

      Thanks for your feedback. I will try to think of more topics like these. I appreciate your readership!

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