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The Hiddleswift Danger Zone?

July 9, 2016

The Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston whirlwind romance has taken the news media by storm and got fans into a tizzy. This starry combustion supposedly began in New York City, then onto Nashville, Rhode Island, England, Rome, back to Rhode Island, and now Australia for Tom to work on the movie Thor: Ragnarok. All supposedly in less than a month.

And they’ve even met each other’s parents.

If you’ve been reading my Prize Catch Dictionary, you’ll know what the Danger Zone is. In short, it means when it’s all too much, too soon, too fast, and too often.

Where’s the mystery? Where’s the anticipation for more? When you give the guy the whole banquet, he overeats. Being satiated and engorged with you, why would he crave for more of you?

Assuming what we’re reading about the two lovebirds is true, this is exactly what I’ve been warning everyone about.

Now if they end up happily married forever with children (a total myth by the way, as no one is 100% happy all the time married or single), I’m sure I’d be hearing about how wrong I was. But I’m not here to predict their demise, only to caution against ENTERING THE DANGER ZONE.

The most common reasons for entering the Danger Zone:

1) When two people hurry the dating process to avoid long distance separation.

2) When two people cram their time together due to conflicting schedules.

3) When the need to be with each other overrides the will to discipline and pace oneself.

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston not only flew together, but can we safely assume in this day and age they are sharing the same bedroom as well? I think so.

The two of them can certainly afford to fly to each other whenever they want to, whereas regular folks such as you and I just don’t have such means. And Taylor’s private jet conveniently jetting the two around definitely has not helped pace herself (the only time when owning your own plane is a liability!). Remember what I always advise: “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

What would my advice to a lovestruck Taylor be?

“You just got off a relationship with someone else (Calvin Harris), which should give you pause to reflect on what went wrong and what you can glean from that relationship t0 avoid the same mistakes in the next one. Instead, you threw yourself into the arms of someone else rather quickly. And yes, sometimes you can’t help whom you’re attracted to, and if it’s this English gentleman named Tom Hiddleston, you thought, why not?

“But you didn’t let him do much wooing, which he should be perfectly capable of. Instead, it seemed as if you suddenly took over. Yes, you have more wealth and means than he does so you can take control and make things happen quickly and easily, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still need to be empowered as a self-respecting man. Sometimes finances emasculate men. Read my EGuide “When & How to Reciprocate”, it explains how to respond to a guy treating you and how to treat a guy on a date in a way that doesn’t disempower him.

“And yes, some men are beta males perfectly happy in the role of recipient and sidekick to an alpha female. We’ve seen those pairings. And maybe a beta is what Tom is. If so and if you are fine with it, then you can stop reading right here.

“But in case he’s not…”

“Long distance for the two of you is inevitable for the time being, so be in contact via Skype or phone calls now and then. You see, so far, your dates aren’t even dates but full-blown vacations, which set up the Danger Zone of no return perfectly. This is where witnessing each other’s personal habits (as in hearing each other flush toilets) before genuine love has set in for good, potentially ruins chances for something lasting.

“Playing house when the bond is still fragile is always risky. Even for the rich.

“Deep, long lasting love is built upon slow burning embers, not flashes of fireworks admired as a spectacle that dies an equally quick death. Yes, the two of you might sizzle and pop sexually. But slow down. Let him miss you. Let him wonder what you’re up to. He can’t if you’re right next to him in bed every night, every meal, every swim, in three continents.

“The Danger Zone ultimately crushes dreams and breaks hearts, because there is no return and no do-over. It’s the beginning of the end. Hopefully, for fans of Hiddleswift, your case is the exception!”

What do you think? Do you think Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston are in the Danger Zone?

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From → Posts

  1. Lily permalink

    It has been a year and I still can’t forget him:(. I even changed my number so he can’t text me anymore. I wanted to lose hope but it doesn’t work. I tried new hobbies but honestly, all I want is to cuddle and watch movies.

    Should I still wait to be fully recovered or should I start dating guys righ now? How to fall in love more often but less deeply?

    • Lily,

      It takes time to get over someone so wait until you’re over him (not thinking about him anymore) before you date new guys. Then you won’t be on the rebound and can focus better.

      If you don’t want to fall in love hard, you have to break up often or act distant with your boyfriend. Romantic love is an all or nothing game, for better or worse.

      • Bee231 permalink

        Hi there! I like your blog thanks for making it. Do you recommend dating apps like Tinder or online dating at all? I have found the experience to be terrible! The guys don’t seem to know what they want, aren’t very serious, and act entitled. I am a 34 year old woman working in a large US city and would like to meet a good person with good values. The online world just gives way to anominity. I recently had a disasterous situation with a man I met on Tinder. He had been separated and living with his brother, but he told me the divorce was underway and he was only married on paper. I believed him and went ahead because I liked him. He was courting me and he’s a professional responsible guy. However I noticed that he had not introduced me to his friends or family yet. I dated him 3 months.

        Then he informed me that he is not able to openly date until the divorce is final and it’s dragging due to the sale of their house. I feel awful I fell for him and I still feel the need to be in contact with him ( we went through a bad situation together). What do I do?

        • Bee231,

          Glad you like the blog. Dating apps are fine as long as you follow the guidelines in the Online Dating EGuide. It will screen out the time-wasters for you.

          It’s important you only date men who are divorced, as in having the final decree in hand. Otherwise, dating a guy who has yet to divorce or who is still in the process of one runs some real risks:

          1. A guy who is still technically married may still want to work things out with his ex (whether he is still in love with her or just doesn’t want to pay alimony), and not being divorced makes it easier to get back together with her.

          2. A guy who is not divorced yet may be on the rebound, where he just wants to line up another woman so he doesn’t have to deal with recovering from the divorce itself. This would mean you may not be a long-term thing.

          What you can do now is to let him know that you can’t be more emotionally invested in a married man than you are already, and you have to stop seeing him. Then as soon as his divorce is final, he should contact you. This way, you won’t feel disrespected by him having to hide the relationship with you.

          If he is serious about you, he would contact you after the house sells and everything is finalized. He would not give up on you over your need to be in a respectable position. If he is not serious about you, he would move on. So this is the best test for him even though it may be hard for you.

          At this point, you have to choose what is best for you, not what is easier for you. Good luck!

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