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14 Comments
  1. Tara permalink

    Hello The One

    I need some advice, I had a boyfriend for 6 months who I loved to bits. I felt like he was the only guy for me. The relationship was good he treated me well but I was insecure and needy at the time and also immature, I pushed him away and I eventually broke up with him because I had lot of unrealistic expectations on him. This was 3 years ago and during these 3 years I worked on my self esteem and made myself a prize catch and I am much more mature and grown up because I was 19 years old at the time and now I am 22. The thing is he contacted me 3 months ago and told me he never stopped thinking about me and caring about me and he wants to be with me, I felt the same and I told him how I feel. He invited me over to his house to watch movies after a month of sending messages back and forth, he was wary because I did have a boyfriend but we broke up before this. I accepted the movie date and when I got there his parents were at home and he introduced me to them. He cooked for me, and he eventually told me that he missed me so much because we didn’t speak in over a year and that he wants to be with me but he wants to take things slow, I agreed with him and we kissed and cuddled. A week later he came to my house, we talked and kissed. No sex just making out. He told me that we must not tell all our friends because when we dated before he said that ruined it but both our families know about us. The thing is we both are college students we dependent and don’t have jobs yet so we can’t do much in terms of money and dates, we don’t have cars and jobs so its dates at home so we both have some other priorities before a relationship. I’m wondering what does this all mean ?
    Does this mean he is pursuing me ? Why does he want to take things slow and not tell all our friends? How do I behave towards him? He texts me everyday to check up on me and see if I’m ok, how should I respond to texts and should I play hard to get? He is a very private person, he doesn’t have social networks.

    • To me it sounds like he is taking it slow and doesn’t want to jump into things because you probably broke his heart last time. His friends might give him grief for taking you back because you had left him once before, so this may be the reason why he doesn’t want his friends to know about you. I’d take it a day at a time. If he always wants to see you and tries to spend some money on you, he might be sincere and really care about you.

      • Tara permalink

        Awwww thank you so much for the reply, I think you may be right.

        • No problem, hope it works out. If not, try asking the expert on this site!

    • Tara,

      4B is right. He doesn’t want to be embarrassed by another rejection by you. So this way he can feel safe while still being able to get involved with you.

      A guy can still pursue you and treat you well without spending any money. He can suggest things to do that doesn’t cost money, like walking in the park, visiting public museums, ice-skating on a frozen lake, or just holding hands as you gaze at the stars.

      So follow my instructions in the EGuides and you will be fine.

      But you can’t play hard to get if you don’t have the Prize Catch confidence within yourself, and if your life is such a vacuum that there is nothing but him to fill it with.

  2. Grateful permalink

    GREAT blog! There aren’t enough adjectives to express it’s value so I’ll just say “Thanks” for giving me permission to “have fun” regardless of being single or not 🙂

  3. Marge permalink

    This completely brought me back to reality. I’m recently single and I certainly made a big big mistake with someone I really liked. He lost interest quick and it was heartbreaking. I’m glad to be refocusing on myself and then when the universe deems me ready maybe some suitors will weasel their way into my life. Until then its me, my girlfriends, my family, and my career. Ladies please stand up and make your own life happy before we give ourselves a bad name

  4. ShootingStar permalink

    Hi The One.

    I have one very simple question. If he does not want a relationship, does nothing to pursue it but won’t let go or say goodbye is he just keeping you as something to fall back on? Is he really just an Ass Clown? When I ask for a goodbye (we were friends and a relationship did NOT/has not materialised) he says ‘he will very soon.’ or does everything to stall me from ‘leaving’ I don’t think i should have to hang around and offer a friendship when i have feelings and he says he doesn’t. You’re either in or you’re out, correct? Even if i tell him to stop contacting me he ignores it and tries to keep stalling me from leaving. I don’t care how blunt you want to be. My friends are blindsided by the bullshit out there about guys being scared of confused…. I don’t buy into it. Doesn’t want a relationship, doesn’t want to say goodbye. Baggage city, yes?

    • ShootingStar permalink

      I accidentally click send, i forgot to say thank you and I hope it’s ok to post here… Thanks.

    • ShootingStar,

      You cannot depend on a man to end things for you when you are being strung along and having your life put on hold for him.

      When you don’t get the relationship you deserve, it doesn’t matter WHAT he is saying. He can promise you the moon. But is he delivering? As far as his actions are concerned, the past is gone, the present isn’t happening, and the future is even more of a blur.

      Soon is not now. When you don’t get what you want, you move on. Let a man battle the odds to win your love. Making it easy for him by sitting in the sidelines and jumping at his beck and call will only lower your value. That may be what is stalling him.

      Allow me to explain everything to you: Why is he doing this, why are you doing what you’re doing, and how can you strengthen your resolve and move on, how can you avoid such traps in the future, and more. Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

      Look forward to helping you!

  5. Thank you for this website and all your blogs, you talk so much sense!

    I found out recently that the guy I like has a girlfriend. He hasn’t made any kind of move on me although we have been emailing a lot, texting and have hung out a few times. I get the impression that he does like me a lot, and now I know he has a girlfriend it explains some of his behaviour.

    Initially he pursued me by suggesting a number of group dates, which I turned down because I was with somebody else at that point. Eventually we ended up going for drinks and then on another day a run in the park.

    Obviously I don’t want to be with anyone who has a girlfriend, play a part in any breakup or put my life on hold waiting for him, but I wondered what the best thing to do would be. He doesn’t seem to be happy and I really like him a lot to the point where i’m not interested in anybody else.

    I think I need to back off and see what happens, but do I drop it the girlfriend into conversation lightly so he is aware that I now know and make any interaction more friendly rather than flirty. Or do I not mention it all?

    Any other advice you can give would be much appreciated!

    C X

    • Dear Chloe,

      Thanks for reading and posting on my blog!

      Going for drinks….who asked whom? That is very important. He doesn’t seem to be happy. Why? Please sign up for coaching on this issue, because dropping hints and such is not the way to go about this. It will backfire.

      For a lot more info, Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

      Hope to assist you!

      The One

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