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After the Date, Then What?

Just what are you supposed to do when the date’s over?

You know you’re not supposed to sit at home and twiddle your thumbs, or check your phone every minute.

But what if you had strong chemistry and a fabulous time with him?

What if he was a great kisser?

What if he’s your SOUL MATE?

What if he is texting you a lot?

What if he disappears?

What if he reappears?

What if you miss him?

Why can’t you let him know how you feel?

Can he come over your place?

Can you go over his place?

Why can’t you just be natural and go with the flow?

Just how are you supposed to act, feel, think, and respond to him if he contacts you with no date?

What do you do in the meantime?

Sorry, you need to stop waiting for a date. Where’s your life?

Don’t help him date you.

Find out exactly how you can make sure you can survive each date INTACT and UNINVESTED!

$15 “After the Date, Then What?” EGuide………………ADD TO CART

Order other EGuides here. For confidential Email Exchange, Get Personalized Advice.

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54 Comments
  1. Joanna permalink

    Hi The One,

    Just curious but how long is too long to wait for a man to ask you out on another date? For example, if a guy waits a week to ask you out on a third date, should you accept or refuse because he took so long?

    • Joanna,

      It depends on how interested you are in him. If you’re interested, say yes. If you’re not, say no. If you’re bored, you can say yes, too. You shouldn’t be seeing a guy every day anyway, or you are rushing it. He might also be taking his time because so far he hasn’t met anybody else that he’s really into. It’s too early to say what’s going on at this point. I’d be more concerned if he’s been dating you for three months and has not asked you to be his girlfriend.

      The EGuides explain all of this in detail about the Danger Zone and what to do and what not to do.

      • Joanna permalink

        Hi One Truth,

        Thanks for your reply. After our second date I didn’t hear from him for 3 days, so I texted:

        Jo: Had a great time last week, thanks for showing me around the museum.
        Him: What are you doing this weekend? I have the day off tomorrow.
        Jo: Nothing much just studying. Have a great long weekend. Any plans?
        Him: Not really, just relaxing at home. When is your next exam? Do you drive around town much? Where do you bike?

        Should I even bother responding to him?

        Thanks again,
        Joanna

        • Joanna,

          Please get the EGuides because you’re now pursuing. It’s his call to ask you out again and find out about your plans. Now, you’re left with texting. Give him a quick short text, “Next Thursday is the exam and I like biking at the park. Have a nice week!”

          The problem with initiating contact with a guy is you don’t get asked out again usually. And if you ignore his reply, he thinks you lost interest. If you respond to his reply, he doesn’t have to ask you out. So you’re stuck in this loop of back and forth texting with no upgrade.

          Learn from this and hopefully next time, you let a guy initiate and keep asking you out. If a guy doesn’t HAVE to ask you out, he won’t.

          • Joanna permalink

            Thanks again, One Truth. After reading your articles I should have seen that coming. Will check out the Eguides.

  2. Topaz permalink

    Thank you the one. This is the best blog I have come across. I look forward to ordering some of your guides. I have known this guy for nearly 6 years, instantly we were attracted to each other, however he never stepped up to ask me out. Just recently we started hanging out as friends and I thought he had changed (as he was a player before). Several guy friends had warned me so I kept my distance, although he invited me to several social events. he was charming. He texts. & emails regularly. He still has not actually asked me out . About 3 weeks ago I slept with him, and it was really Great. I initiated the first contact after 3 days of not hearing from him (mistake!) and he said it was awesome night. He flirted a bit more & has mad several attempts at booty calls. We text chit chat all the time & he appears to have some interest in my life. Naturally I have feelings for him. But have always been unsure about whether or not he is relationship material. So now I feel that I’m just wasting my time. This site just confirmed my instincts. Thank you 🙂 … Unless I’m reading all the signs wrong??

    • Topaz,

      Thank you so much for reading the blog and I am really glad you find it helpful!

      You are reading the signs right! They are red flags alerting you to stop and turn around. Once a man treats you like a booty call, he doesn’t upgrade you to a cherished girlfriend. By total immersion into the EGuides, it will be crystal clear to you what to do and what to avoid doing.

      Being a Prize Catch is not only about executing the principles I’ve illustrated, but being able to do so with CONFIDENCE and FINALITY. Being wavering just encourages a man to keep treating you less than you deserve. Give yourself the precious foundation to reforge the new YOU.

  3. Lori permalink

    What do you think about a man that doesn’t call or text between dates? Early stages. He only sets up the date, and then shows up. But nothing in between? Seems suspicious to me.

    • Lori,

      It’s suspicious if this occurs after he becomes your boyfriend. Till then, be thankful he’s not into wasting your time texting. That can easily replace seeing you and planning dates. You wouldn’t want that!

      I urge you to get your secret weapon in dating and relationships when you Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

  4. Sara permalink

    The One,
    Should we stay “invisible” on online chat so that men/suitors can’t contact us via this lazy communication mode? Or do you think online chatting is ok? It seems like men chat mostly when they are too wimpy to just call…thoughts?

    • Sara,

      As long as you are disciplined with ignoring him if chatting goes nowhere. Too often one gets sucked into chatting forever, until one realizes she is in love with a man she never met, who could be God knows who.

      I have more to say on this matter and can evaluate your situation if I hear from you directly. Please Get In-Depth Advice. You can also Order EGuides Today.

      Hope to help you soon!

      • Sara permalink

        Thanks. I agree.
        Do you believe that women should never initiate contact via calls/text/emails like it
        says in “The Rules”??

  5. Please send link. Thx!

    • N.,

      Thanks for your interest. I sent you the payment link and will reserve a copy for you to email you.

  6. Whit permalink

    Wow

  7. VIC permalink

    The One,
    Thank you very much! you are the best! your advice and comments are so accurate, and most of all, truthful (as harsh it may be).
    Now, every now and then, when I doubt or hesitate, I read your blog… and you know what? I can sleep like a princess!!
    Once again, thank you very much!
    Victoria.

    • VIC,

      Thanks for posting! Glad you don’t mind the harsh truth and can sleep like a princess!

      If you ever need something more detailed and personal, you can Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

      Maybe I can assist you one day!

  8. Whitney permalink

    What if he tells you to text you when you get home? You don’t respond, and then he’s asks for himself. Its ok to text then correct ( I know dumb question lol)

    • Nina permalink

      Dear The One,
      Met this guy 2 years ago and we became friends and added each other on fb. We’d message each other casually sometimes then we had a group get together this january, things started to move forward. He’s bring me home (just the 2 of us) whenever we had a group thingie and im just usually quiet (but happy deep down inside) whenever im with him. Whenever we have a group thingie, he’d sit beside me and talk to me showing his ipad about stuff we talk about on fb. We message each other everday since january, he’d tell me how his day went and stuff. After 3 months, he asked me out on a date and picked me up at the house and we had after dinner coffee which lasted for almost 4 hours. He told me he doesnt date that much and asked me personal questions about my family, future plans and stuff but i was evasive and mostly quiet the whole time as i got nervous and really shy but i really like him. When he took me home, he said he wants to see me again and hopes that the group will meet that week so i’ll see him again. And that he will see me again after i get back from my trip.
      He’s 6 years older and i really got shy and i just nodded and said ok. I wasnt expecting to hear that from him and didnt know what to say. Then he lingered at the house for 20-30mins more and we were just talking about stuff under the sun. I thanked him and texted him that i had a nice time and drive safely. Now i know i shouldnt have! He didnt reply. But messaged me on fb the next day like he always does and this went on for 2 months. However when i got back, he didnt ask to see me but instead just asked if i can just leave my souvenir /gift for him from my trip at the conceirge of my place as he wasnt sure exactly when he’ll have the time to pass by. Grrr

      I just left it at the conceirge as he requested and he thanked me via text when he got it. But continued emailing me everyday like it was before and then i realized i had to get a life so i travelled on weekends to stay busy and meet other people. I met a few guys but they were jerks and i still like him. I let him know that how busy i was (which was true) and that im away to go to this place and that and then one day, he didnt reply to my usual message to him anymore. (Saying how things are, how was my day and i was leaving for this place).
      I didnt bug him anymore and it has been 2.5months. I am moving on although still hoping he’ll be back…
      What do you think happened?
      Should i unfriend him on fb?
      You think he liked me even for just a bit?
      When our group will have a get together, should i still go?
      Any advice?

      • Nina permalink

        Dear The One and readers,

        Just a bit of information from me, the above post is from a different Nina (it’s not me). The One may check the e-mail address 🙂

        Okay. That’s what I feel that I need to tell. Love your blog always although I don’t really have the time to read them anymore (following your advice) as my life just gets so fulfilling right now with a lot of things that I’ve been doing. Thank you.

        Dear Nina (the above poster),

        We have the same name here. I’ll try to use a different name next time. Take care. Cheers! : )

        p/s: Sorry if this post is not necessary for me to post it. But I still post it.

        • Hi Nina,

          Thanks for saying hi and letting everyone know! Glad to hear your life is fulfilling.

          • NinaNina permalink

            Hi, The One. You’re welcome!

            Yea I feel great. Like they’re (men) really the side dish now. My LIFE is my big LOVE 😀 A big thank you 2u always. Cheers!

      • Nina,

        Welcome to the blog!

        If he was into you, he’d offer to pick you up at the airport or if he couldn’t, he’d insist on taking you out for a date right away, as soon as you’re over your jet lag.

        Instead, he didn’t even want to pick up the gift you bought him. Why? He didn’t feel like seeing you!

        I urge you to Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

        Hope to assist you!

    • Whitney,

      Just smile and say, “I’m not into texting, sorry!” And don’t text him first.

  9. Hello The One
    Your blog is great! thanks! it really takes a lot of preasure off my head.

    I have a question.
    I met a man a week ago and we have been going out on dates the whole past week (always him asking me out) and he also texts me a lot, just talking about trivial stuff. It has been really nice. The last 2 dates we kissed, just that. And now I don’t know now to handle the situation!.. in the sense of how often I should respond to his texts, how often should I say yes to his invitations, how can I make him feel a suitor without making him feel I’m not interested but also not showing him I might be needy or eager.

    It bothers me that it seems perfectly easy for me to attract men and make them chase me for a while and then once we are moving on to beginning a relationship, then everythig falls apart. This happens to me all the time and it makes me really frustrated!, I’m getting tired of great beginnings and then it always blows on my face.

    Thank you for your advice.

    • Good question. This is not uncommon when you’re dating. Don’t feel bad about it.

      Not everyone is going to be right for everyone else. The most important thing is you have to be YOU. You’re not going in there self-conscious and fearful of every move. No. You go in, being authentic, being comfortable, and being relaxed.

      What is authentic? It is sharing who you are and your interests with him. What do YOU like doing? What are YOUR viewpoints? What inspires YOU?

      There are many reasons a man stays drawn to a woman. Chemistry is one. His power to make her happy is another. Therefore, show how much fun you’re having so he’ll feel empowered.

      However, never pretend you’re having fun. If the date is boring, he’ll feel it too. But always be gracious, even on a boring date. And see if YOU feel chemistry with him. Maybe he’s not really doing it for you either. Don’t assume he’s the one just because he’s asked you out.

      Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Have an interesting conversation with him. Work on confidence. Work on being at ease in all situations. Men want the unique you, not a copy of what’s attractive and popular.

      And when a man stops pursuing you, it’s okay. He’s not the right one. If he were, he’d want to be with you!

      • Dina permalink

        Thank u so much the One for your blog, it does help me a lot :). I hope you don’t mind i asked lots of questions. Maybe some can learn from them too 🙂 . I have a question what do you suggest for an alpha female. I own a business. 36 year old. i feel that i am really independent even i always dress nice and speak softly, yet many of my married gfs told me..i look like a woman who doesn’t need a guy. they could see me as too strong. Some of them commented to me that i looked strong and beautiful. But too strong. Somehow along the way being independent makes me a stronger woman and maybe i look like an alpha female or have masculine traits haha 😁 without i realise it. I asked my male friends, they say they adore me and look up to me, but they never take me on dates. they always date a weaker woman or woman who looks submissive.

        What do you suggest so i don’t look like a girl who is masculine but still be a gracious feminime woman without losing who i am really is. Like my friend told me i have to tone down my strong characteristic, so man will get attracted. I don’t boss around people in the public, only in my business world. 😜. I wonder if guys are scared because of my accomplishment, i do all without my parents helped, i can’t deny it’s because i put so much time and effort into my business. i have to say i reap what i sow. and i am Thankful, i make sure i reach all the dreams i want. One by one it does become a reality before my eyes. i am so grateful. But i do really want to have a great companion and my own family. Why would i bother building up my business if one day i cannot give it to someone/ my kids? ❤

        But then i also dont want a man who is not as strong as i am. I used to attract feminime male or passive guys who usually younger than i am by 4 years. And i figured that’s not what i want in life. Hmm any thought?. I do let men lead, i just don’t know where i can be found to such a strong man. 😁 i desire a man who can lead me and own a business/ succesful career too, i can be a great companion for his life and his Career. i just dont know where can they find me….my gfs told me no strong men wants a girl who is as strong as them. They want a submissive feminime girl who will let them be king. How do i tone down my strong character. Should I? I am pretty quiet and don,t talk a lot. I smile a lot. I don’t know what people see in me that is too strong. My friends told me, they see it right away in my face, the way i talk. I always wear skirts or dress and have my long hair falls down. But seriously i don’t boss around people. So what do you suggest for this kind of woman 😁. I also think isn’t it weird if i tone down everything and then after i get married, my old self and the real me comes out, that is not nice or fair for the guy. Hahaha. Any input the One? 🙂

        • Dear Dina,

          Always great to hear from you! It’s not easy for an alpha female in the dating scene. But there is a way to go about it with success.

          I have lots of suggestions for you and can address all the issues you mentioned. This blog has been taking up a lot of time from me so to get compensated, I’ve been helping people privately and invite you to sign up too.

          For a lot more info, Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

          Hope to assist you, Dina! I think it will be worth it!

          The One

  10. Hi The One

    Thanks for confirming my thoughts. I’ve always thought that, as long as you can enjoy each others conversation and have personalities that compliment each other then, it should not matter.
    Very interesting what you said about a man dating a CEO. Is this because most men have a natural need to be the main provider? Or is this more about a man’s competitive nature?
    Nevertheless, I find the old fashion rules tend to work for me. My successful relationships have always been with men who have pursued me first and taken the lead. So I am going to stick with that. It’s good that this blog helps me and other women understand the man’s perspective more.

    Best Regards

    Hannah

  11. Hi The One

    Just a quick easy question. I am confused about how important a woman’s job status is to a man. For example, if I went out with a man who has a senior professional job as most men do at my age (in their 40’s and 50’s). How important is it that I should have a job of equal professional status. I am degree educated and previously worked as a Chartered Accountant. But, I am in the process of changing careers. I am currently working with children with special needs as a teaching assistant. I really LOVE the job but my friends think that, my lower pay and status means I will no longer attract good men. I thought that if a man really likes you then surely my job status should not matter? I unrest and that, I would be on substantially lower pay than most men. But, does this mean they’ll look down on me? Until I spoke to my friends about this, I never really worried about it. My only concern was changing careers to find something that I really enjoyed. I love children and I love helping them as, my son had special needs to its an area close to my heart.

    Best Regards

    Hannah

    • Hannah,

      In general, it doesn’t matter what profession you’re in or what level unless you’re a prostitute, a strip club dancer, or porn star. Most men also probably want the woman to be able to provide for herself, although some men don’t mind providing for her if she becomes his girlfriend.

      This just doesn’t warrant much concern, in my opinion. Better that you are happy doing what you love where you can also earn a living than just work for money and be miserable!

  12. Eyes on the prize permalink

    I had the same surgery as a child. It is mostly corrected but when I am tired, some people notice it. I’ve never said anything in my life to anyone I was dating. I think I may have mentioned it in passing to my ex husband after we were married and he said he never noticed and didn’t care. Current boyfriend hasn’t noticed. My advice is don’t bother mentioning unless a boyfriend asks … or long after you know someone very well and can mention it very casually in passing. If you make a big deal of it, he’ll think it’s a big deal. If you make nothing of it, he’ll think it’s nothing. As far as I’m concerned, it’s part of a person, like the color of their hair or crooked teeth. Either people will notice and care, notice and not care, or not notice. Congratulations to you for being able to do the surgery as an adult … I’m so glad it turned out well for you.

  13. Dina permalink

    After he gave you a ride home, should i text him and say, just want to make sure you arrive home safely and thank u for the dinner? No need? I always do that ….haha….i also have a question i used to have a really shifted eyes, how do i say this, anyway i used to have the eyes that is not match or similar one to another and then becuase it looked not nice, it,s so visible. Part of it for health reason but the first reason i do it because of aesthetic reason.i felt self concious all the time and people teased me for them, (one of the girl in high school told me i looked like alien or this guy who told me i was the ugliest girl in school ,i didnt know why she or he said that. ). i will make sure, i teach my kids someday, to never say things like that to people 🙂 . even, i only smile when people bullied me, but i grew up telling to myself. i would do something about it someday. it turned out big Part of it got covered by health insurance:). I saved money and did surgery to fix it. I think that’s a miracle. one of the best decision i made in life 🙂 I look very fine now. When do you think i need to tell him this? I do consider that as a plastic surgery, because it’s to enhance beauty.even it,s both for health and aesthetic,,,,Well i dont like to lie, or if he finds it from someone else,,,but when do u think i need to tell him, or do they even care..that,s the only surgery i did and will ever do for enhancing beauty. I dont want to get into some argument later where the guy will tell me, why didnt you tell me earlier? But maybe the suitor will not even care. But if it’s my guy, i will not make it a big deal. Unless he looks like a ken doll maybe i wont date him in the first place….hahahaha,,,thank you for your kind heart to write and mentor us 🙂 !bless your heart!

  14. CrystalC permalink

    I just randomly found your blog & it made me realize so much ! Thank you for writing this

  15. Dina permalink

    The one, if he is the only date you have at this point. And he asked you, are you dating anyone else, what would you say? If i say, o yeah since i dont have a bf, i am also dating other guys. Isnt it means i lie? I go out with guys friends in group, but guys that i am not attracted to. So what will be wise to say?

    • Dina,

      Just say, “I’m open to dating other men, because I don’t have a boyfriend right now. What about you?”

      This is no lie. It isn’t telling him you ARE seeing someone else right now. But it’s letting him know you aren’t exclusive to him and he shouldn’t take you for granted.

  16. Dani permalink

    Hello Ms./Mrs. One!! I posted a comment earlier this summer, thank you for your advice I’ve learned SO much from you I consider you a Godsend! I followed ALL of your advice previously and IT WORKS. 100% as you say it will.

    New issue: Just recently I went on vacation and went to an event with my brother and his girlfriend. I met a young man there. We talked all night and then we all went out as a group for dinner. I slept over my friend’s house that weekend. The man (approx age 24) I met sat next to me at dinner and we talked all night. He really wanted to see me later that night and invited my friend and me to go to his house. He had to do a few things first and said that he would message me that night. He gave me his business card so I could call him but I told him to call me and gave him my number. The thing is that I was going back home to another state in 2 days so he really wanted to see me. I told him that it was up to my friend because I was spending the night over her house but that I was tired anyway. I really wanted to see him later that night but I wouldn’t dare message him first. He never messaged me that night but I didn’t think anything of it, as you say…if he doesn’t pursue, forget him and move on. The next day (friday), my parents were coming to pick me up and I was very exited about this. later that afternoon he messaged, called, and left me a voicemail. apparently he had saved my number incorrectly in his phone and assumed that I never responded to him when he texted me. He was wondering if I wanted to go out to dinner with him that night or a movie if I had time. I was a bit skeptical since I did not know him very well but I decided to text him a few hours later and accept his invitation. However, I told him that sometime the next night would work best for me. He agreed and was happy. I accepted his invitation because yes, I felt we made a strong connection, he is very smart, successful, and I am interested in him. Saturday comes and we messaged each other to stay in touch with plans. Because I had to go home on Sunday morning, Saturday was our last chance to see each other a second time. The whole day Saturday I was with my family and my mother was also very skeptical about letting me go out with him by myself. She knew I was interested in him and my brother said he was a good man so she let me invited him to join my family and me for a walk around the city and dinner. He had dinner with my family, offered to pay, and he and I talked/walk all night and had a wonderful time. He also made a nice impression on my family. But the date ended short and I had to leave, he was sad about this but I knew I left him very much intrigued. I enjoyed myself with him but I waited for him to message me first. The next morning he did, and told me that he had a wonderful evening with my family and me among other things. He is showing his interest in me by contacting me all the time and planning to visit me at home. He lives 8 hours away but will be on a business trip that is location 4 hours away from my house and wants to see me in a couple of weeks. You say women are overexposed these days so I wait a long time to respond to his messages or do not at all, and keep my messages very short but kind. I also told him that I prefer if he called me…is this ok? he said he would absolutely call me and to let him know when I was free.

    What I want to know is, how should I control the phone conversation (still keep the mystery/femininity), and keep him intrigued when he is 8 hours away? we are not connected via social media and I wouldn’t like to be. Also do you think it would be a good idea to Skype? and if he plans to come and visit me in a couple of weeks, how should I handle his visit? should he come directly to my house? and above all, how does a man continue to chase or how do I let the man pursue in long distance communication?

    THANK YOU you’re the BEST and the WISEST.

    • Dani,

      Welcome back! Glad you put my advice to the test and see that it works. That is great news.

      I see you implemented discipline by waiting before returning his calls, while being sweet and friendly. You know you must keep him intrigued and wanting more. You paid attention in class!

      However, I don’t think having him meet your parents right away was a great idea. It may have felt perfectly fine then, but now you feel since he’s met your family, he should be familiar enough where he could stay with you when he visits.

      For a lot more info, I urge you to Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

      Hope to assist you!

  17. Hi The One

    If you have had only one or two dates with a man and they have gone well. But, after the dates he does not contact you for a second date for a week/two weeks. Is that a bad sign? Should you decline if, he calls or e mails two weeks later? Even if he apologise and says he’s still keen to meet but, that he has a busy schedule I.e work, other dates ( which I would expect in this day and age).

    It puzzles me because, at this stage,, you still don’t know each other, you are not exclusive and so, you are not his priority. It’s still too early for that (is it not ?). I know lots of friends who would say….’he’s not called for one week…two weeks….decline his invitation, forget him or ignore him because he’s not interested.

    But, is that realistic? Does it not take more than one/two dates for a man to develop more feelings than just attraction and then start to make you his priority. Therefore, how long should it be before you expect him to ask to see you more frequently? What would a man do who was really interested since, older men particularly don’t want to dive in so quickly!

    Best Regards

    Hannah

    • The One

      Thank you for your reply. It’s so difficult to know whats right and what’s not as, I’ve been out of the dating scene for years. But your reply has helped me understand how I should be doing it right. Your advice is great!

      Many Thanks
      Hannah

      • Hannah,

        You’re welcome. It’s easy to get rusty being out of the dating scene. However, even if a woman is always busy dating men, not knowing this stuff wouldn’t help her whatsoever!

  18. Sybil permalink

    Perfect! Wish me luck and lots of discipline tonight. I’m learning so much here, thanks! ^_^

    • You’re welcome. Lots of discipline, self-worth, and luck….in that order!

      • Sybil permalink

        Dear The One,

        I just wanted to give you an update of how things are going so far after all the advice from your blog.

        Remember the “boy” who couldn’t afford to date me? Well turns out that wasn’t just his problem. I completely forgot to tell you one really, really important thing on that first “date” (a little wiser now — i know it wasn’t one). He was LATE! Made me wait, here in my office. And I was stupid enough to give him another shot. And this time he bought me dinner. But he was late — AGAIN! For 2 whole hours! I was too nice and waited because i felt bad leaving him in the middle of the road when he traveled all the way to come here. HOWEVER — I am not too nice to ever give him another shot. I ended the day politely, took a cab home, and I have stopped responding to him ever since.

        Now… About the other one that I recently went out with… He was a perfect gent 🙂 and I took your advice and didn’t respond in the 24 hours. Worked like magic, he started bugging me asking if I had come down with a flu (I did, actually). And he even offered to bring me donuts (I was craving)! But i figured it wouldn’t be such a good idea for my mom to suddenly see him at the door (I am 23 and just moved back in with her, since my last breakup.) So I told him maybe next time. Plus, he said he wanted to ask me out again (three times now, just haven’t set a time and place, so not really excited about that.)

        Funnily enough, yesterday, his ex must have caught wiff of our little date (common friends) and started to try to build a “wall” around him through facebook: “liking” one comment I placed on his wall, and then posting a photo of him, in a mall’s changing room wearing a sleek polo shirt and black pants. with the automated line “‘EX’ was with ‘HIM’ 9 minutes ago” and tagged him. Then one comment said “Wow, looks like a ‘meet the parents’ kind of thing.” And the ex reacted “Hahaha, no, he’s just attending a wedding.” YES. They totally went shopping together.

        I didn’t react AT ALL. No blocks, comments, likes, nothing. No way I’m bringing myself down to her level.

        Last night he sent me a message saying “Good evening. Have no one to talk to, Elle’s busy (she was the one who introduced me to him — but this is not the EX, she’s a good friend). You busy?”

        DUH! I was a second choice? Because he was bored? Ew. I went right to sleep. Haven’t talked to him since. Today I saw him comment on my posts (but not addressing me), as if trying to lure me into starting a conversation with him. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. And then out of annoyance (I admit I was annoyed and also wanted to see if these things really worked so….) I checked his wall. He… removed the photo his ex placed there, hahahaha.

        He still hasn’t talked to me. But it doesn’t look like he’s over his ex anyway so frankly, I don’t care.

        I’m just so happy to see the results. 🙂

        Thanks again! 🙂

        • Sybil permalink

          EDIT: HE sent me a message. Literally 3 minutes after I posted this. Hah!

        • Sybil,

          I’m proud of you that you paid attention in class and now recognize the traits of time-wasters. Glad you moved on from Tardy Boy. Tardiness is NOT acceptable!

          You know how I feel about Facebook. It is the ultimate destroyer of the dating process. A guy isn’t forced to step up and ask you out if he has access to your account.

          Facebook should really be just for friends and family. It is not for men who may be potential suitors. Leave them out of it. Delete them if you already added them on. Let them start from square one and treat you like a Prize Catch, which Facebook “friends” cannot do by default.

          But BRAVO for catching on so quickly and knowing what you truly deserve! Thanks for the update!

  19. Sybil permalink

    Dear The One,

    I am about to go on a date tomorrow O.O… what if he sends me a text message when I get home? Should I wait 24 hours?

    • Sybil,

      Yes, wait 24 hours. And when he sends another one that isn’t asking you out, ignore it.

  20. marina permalink

    oh my god, a huge amount of money and years of therapy and all i ever needed was to read this blog! thanks for all the advice! i have been chasing men for a long time and it has led nowhere except towards frustration, sleepless nights and feeling that all guys are jerks. i am looking forward to meeting new guys and doing it right !!! gracias!

    • De nada! Glad you found the blog and yes, do it right and sleep like a princess!

  21. Disappear. Get busy with your life. If he calls great, if not move on….

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