How to Get Him Back If You’ve Had Sex with Him
When pigs fly.
It’s really true.
But then, there are exceptions.
In what situations do those exceptions occur?
Can you really get him back or should you forget about him?
You had such a great connection. Sex was through the roof!
So why doesn’t he call?
You know couples who had sex before exclusivity, and look, they’re still together!
So why not YOU?
What’s going on with them that’s not happening with you?
Does sex make such a drastic difference?
What happens when men have sex? What happens when women have sex?
Why should you know all this?
Why can’t you have sex whenever you want, with whomever you want?
Why can’t you have sex with a guy you are in love with?
Why is sex such a big crazy deal?
Can friends with benefits lead to a good relationship?
Can you really become less emotionally attached after having sex?
Do you have an addiction to him?
What signs and symptoms reveal man-addiction?
Is it time to detox so you aren’t driving yourself nuts?
Why is getting over him necessary to be chased again?
How does the Self-Imposed Detox Program work?
Find out now! $15 GET OVER HIM & DETOXIFY EGuide (17 pages) ADD TO CART
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Let Men Chase You 
So about eight months ago I was working at a local store in my hometown where this guy worked with me. We hit it off at first and then about two to three weeks later he got back together with his ex girlfriend, but kept flirting and messaging me most of the time. When things started to get confusing, I started to ask him questions that he really didn’t want to answer or questions that annoyed him, but he always came back and continued to message me. But they broke up a couple months after this. About two months ago we started sexting on snap chat and almost had sex a couple of times. This would happen about every two weeks. Then, on Tuesday we had sex. It was my first time so I was pretty nervous and told him to stop a couple of times, but we started back up soon after. After we were done, he hugged me and told me that we would hang out again sometime. I ended up messaging him a couple days after and a conversation got brought up about that night, and I said maybe we can do it again sometime, and all he said was maybe. I know in the past he has always came back wanting sex, so do you think he will this time? Or do you think he wont because I was inexperienced and kept pushing him away that night because I was nervous????
Sarah,
Once you start sexting with a guy, he will not ever need to step up to take you seriously. Then when you have sex with him without needing him to be exclusive to you, he knows you have no boundaries and in his eyes, your value is lower.
What’s even worse is you messaged him to ask for more bad treatment.
It’s not fair but the reality is men view women this way. How you respond to them ranks you in terms of your value and how you deserve to be treated. They categorize you in either of two camps: women men use for sex, or women men take home to mom.
First, you need to want to be treated better. You need to know what you deserve. Then you can decide on how to navigate dating.
Your inexperience or nervousness has nothing to do with how he will treat you. It’s what you are willing to put up with that determines how he will treat you.
He will go back to you for sex when he isn’t getting it elsewhere. He’s got you exactly where it’s easy and convenient for him. If that’s the position you want to be in, where you’re on the back shelf while he’s on the prowl, then by all means continue to wait for him to make up his mind.
But if you aren’t interested in that and know you deserve more, please read my EGuides to educate yourself on what it means to be a Prize Catch who knows what a time-waster looks like and knows how to land a serious committed relationship. The EGuides will condition you into new beliefs and new behaviors that will free you from anxiety, pain and confusion.
Hello, I met this cool dude and we had se after the first week , we hanged out a few times and it was cool. later , he left the town in which I was and we weren’t communicating regularly ,its only when I have to give him information relating to his work that I call him or he does.
it became abit quite between us and I told hi I wanted to move and would like to tell him plus i regret even having sex with him , i should have taken my time then he mentioned he wants to be friends and also slow down on the sex side.
I really feel I pushed him away with my attitude and comments. Honestly I feel hurt and don’t know how to handle this especially when he owes me money which I lend to him with the promise of paying back.
Any help.
Easan,
I’m sorry to hear you were treated abominably this way. When you have sex with a guy before you should, you devalue your worth. Have you ever bought something cheap and threw it away without much thought? When you buy something expensive, you wouldn’t do that. You’d treasure it and make sure you put it somewhere safe where it wouldn’t get damaged.
So deem your own worth highly and men will treat you thus. This is not about being snooty but about valuing yourself enough so you can’t be used and thrown away. This means you should always let a guy court you first and not give him sex until he makes you his exclusive girlfriend. He even cautioned you to slow down, why? Because he didn’t want to commit to you and be serious.
A guy must prove to you he is serious about you before you invest emotionally and physically in him, or you are left in the dust. Investing prematurely in this way is taking too much risk. Minimize it by being courted by a suitor. This is the only way dating can be pleasurable and a healthy relationship can be found.
To find out more about being a Prize Catch and all that involves in practicing its principles (including what constitutes “hanging out” — a no-no), please immerse yourself in the EGuides so you know about dating rituals, how to establish healthy boundaries, how to maintain worthiness, and how to navigate the landmines of the dating world.
soooo I slept with a really cool guy on a work trip company convention. We flirted a little a few nights before. We had good conversations, fun and got drunk later on that night. Yup I ended up in his room and we had sex, and sex again in the morning. We talked about when he would be in my town and his before the sex. He left the next day I got one text from him asking for the fun pics we took the night before and about getting home myself. Well I sent him text about getting home and nothing….
Do I leave it alone, I’m thinking so. But there it a little bit of me that would really like to get to know him even if he doesn’t live close to me. I’m aware that long distance relationships are tough and he is a very busy guy not really looking for anything because of this.
But comments and such that he made he seemed to be soo genuine. should I let it be? give it a few more days? His Birthday is this week I feel like I should at least acknowledge that.
HE said it wasn’t something he normally does and I’m quite old enough to know men will say things like that. BUT there is something telling me this is the truth.
I have had a one night stand or two in my life and wasn’t something I was looking for or really wanted to get myself into either. I do really feel like we had a great connection and he did seem shy.
Thoughts…..
Michelle,
There’s something really important to remember, and that is, how a guy feels about you is based on the LAST THING HE DID, not anything prior to that.
Sure, he might have said or done certain things during your romp that made him seem genuine. But what he last did was ignore your text. Ignoring is the same thing as saying, “I don’t want anything to do with you.” You have to learn to interpret wordless communication.
If you want to invite bad treatment, initiate contact again. This is a guy that showed no sign of interest if you have read the EGuides. If he had any interest, he would have asked to see you on a date instead of pictures he took with you.
It doesn’t matter that you and he spoke of when you would be in each other’s towns. It’s about what he said and did last, not what he said and did in the beginning. And what he did last again, was ignore your text.
A Prize Catch keen on a guy must notice when he hasn’t asked her out. So that would be the first indication of his lack of interest. And his ignoring your text would be the more obvious, glaring one.
Start recognizing the False Indications of a Man’s Interest so you don’t waste precious time and get confused.
And if sex with a shy guy isn’t enough to let him know you are his for the taking, nothing will work to get him interested. Pursue him at your own emotional peril.
Sex with an “exclusive boyfriend” is no guarantee. Many men have “exclusive girlfriends” and they still aren’t that into them and never marry them. I think women really need to know the character of the man…and his true relationship intentions before going to that step. “Exclusivity” means almost nothing to guys. It certainly doesn’t mean love and marriage and also doesn’t mean they won’t become Un-exclusive at any time.
Belinda,
True! Exclusivity doesn’t mean longevity or certainty. It just means he has agreed to not date other women…for now.
Not all suitors are marriage-minded. Not all boyfriends want to be husbands. The most important task if you’re marriage-minded is to date men who want the same thing.
So a party-type of guy with tons of female “friends” on social media would not fall in this category. Neither would a free spirit who is constantly looking for adventure. You want a guy to show up in your life consistently, not call you from Timbuktu one day and Kathmandu the next.
Know if you want to date just to get out of the house, or if you want to date toward the goal of marriage. Dating could be a means to anything. The right candidate is key.
What about “making out”? Early stages in dating, he’s chasing, everythings going good. I couldn’t help myself. He wanted to kiss me and I let him. We then proceeded to have a pretty heavy make-out session! No sexual touching, only kissing, hugging. He’s still calling/texting and we have a date planned a few days from now. I feel like a failure at this, and I was doing so good too!
The One: Should I mention it? should I not let it happen again and just pretend like nothing happened? I feel like I ruined all my hard work. He seems unfazed (not from the kissing, but from the fact that we made-out). He still seems keen on me and I’m sticking to the “don’t contact him first” rule.
Help me! Help us!!
Charmaine,
Please get the EGuide “Become His Girlfriend” which details the Safe Make-Out Zone for dating. Don’t make out again and stick to the program!
Ok. I slept with him. I got carried away and let it happen. I didn’t want to. I regretted it straight after and while on the couch, I told him I wanted to stop seeing him. He was surprised and got really hurt. I started questioning him and even told him i didn’t enjoy the sex. He deleted me off Facebook and i tried to pretend that he was going to dump me anyway. When I realised that he was really hurt and not pretending to be hurt, I ardently genuily ask for him to forgive me for the things I said to him. I was scared, I was mistaken about him. I had a painful divorce so I was just trying to protect myself. after few weeks of saying sorrys he finally responded and said he forgives me. But it was so difficult for him to warm up to me again. we met in his apart, and I wanted a hug but he refused saying he needed some time. he went away to work abroad shortly after that and he was really cold. I taught i lost him, but then on my birthday he sent me a lovely message while he was away.I could believe he remembered. I tried to use the opportunity to be close to him again but He was still not allowing me to. I got angry and told him to leave me alone. well the year has passed, he finished his contract came back to england without me knowing. one day I was really missing him, I just couldn’t shrug the feeling off so I contacted him saying I missed him. He called me straight away and I was surprised as I didn’t know he was back. He was happy to read that I missed him. I knew I loved him at that point and to realise that perhaps he did too. He put up with a lot of things I have done and said and still was willing to give us a chance. He told me when he is sure that I am ready, we can go back to normal. He stopped ignoring me, but still refuses sex and to be affectionate. I think I need to be patient. but also, I know deep down, sex triggers a lot of insecurities in me and he might have picked up on it…
I do want him. I am intensely sexually attracted to him. but i am scared of the idea of being dumped after sex.
thanks for any insights and view you might have for me., the one.
Fiona,
It is hard to tell exactly what his feelings are toward you. It could be his EGO that got hurt and that is why he is being cautious — not that you broke his heart or anything. It may be hard for you to hear this but both of you are at such an early stage of the game that his feelings for you might not be that deep (yet) to be so hurt.
Should it matter right now? Because right now you’re back to square one with him, where you want to be, where sex shouldn’t be in the equation anyway. Especially since sex triggers insecurities in you, you should be glad sex is out of the picture!
If you think him having sex with you proves he is serious with you, please get the EGuide “How to Get Over Him & Detoxify”. The other EGuide “Become His Girlfriend” also elaborates on what sex means for males and females.
Embrace the fact that you’re starting fresh and from now on, let him treat you like a Prize Catch!
Thank you the one. To be honest, I do not want to have sex. I have been single for the past 4 years and he is the one who actively pursued me showed interest and wanted me to get out of my shell. I admit, I should date a lot of men but somehow I am not very interested in that apart from my own career, and life. I don’t miss sex. I had a bad relationship before so sex is really not my number one priority. I do like sex though. Just not desperate. I am happy you told me the truth, I don’t think his feelings are any deeper for me, and yes his ego his really hurt. I simply want the affection and romance back not the sex. but i suppose i have to be careful how i allow myself to be treated after this episode.
Fiona,
You’re welcome. Glad you understand. Just work on making sure that wanting affection and romance doesn’t make you needy. The neediness is what takes you down that spiral…
Neeeeed help!
So I met this guy at a friend’s party and he was actually dating my friend’s friend. We all got really drunk that night and we both made out. Im a virgin, so we also tried having sex but we stopped cuz it was hurting too much. The next day it hit me that he was already in a relationship. So I thought I should reduce talking to him.
But he used to keep calling and texting and we both really liked talking to each other. And gradually we met another time. And this time we had just gone on a drive for about 8 hours and just talked laughed and had so much fun. I liked this about him, that atleast he’s decent enough to not make a move and have fun with me and explore me otherwise. We would talk on the phone for hours and he would tell me about his childhood and family etc. And also couple of times he mentioned that he likes me and asked me questions like “If I asked you out, what would you say?”. I wasn’t sure, because he was in a relationship, so I never responded well. I thought if he does ever really like me, and breaks up with that girl, I could probably be with him then.
So we met a few days after that at his place and we ended up having sex, I lost my virginity to him. But this time it was Cuz I really did like the way he is and I thought it could go somewhere.
However, since that day he has kinda stopped calling and texting. And I have never been the one who initiates a conversation, text or call; and only he did always. Even earlier he used to hold this against me as to why I don’t text or call first.
I waited for about 4 days which is very long, for people who used to talk almost every alternate day and I texted him.
He’s usually not a text person and never responded well over texts, so even this time he was kinda normal but also not normal. So I just stopped after that.
And now we haven’t talked almost for a week and its driving me mad.
I don’t know who’s to blame. I projected am image of myself as a playgirl, cuz I never responded when he said things about liking me and also told him that I’m in a stage in my life where I just don’t care about the right thing anymore cuz I got fucked over by past relationships, and I just want to fool around now.
So I’m very confused and conflicted right now, as I’m not understanding why he isn’t callling.
Was it only sex that he wanted? Then why would he tell me that he likes me?
Or is it because I projected my image as a playgirl and he thinks I wouldn’t be serious if we got something going?
Should I try harder to prove to him that I do like him? Or should I just ignore, or play hard to get?
I just want us to talk again, and have fun like the way we did when we had gone on that drive. So spontaneous and thrilling.
We also had a plan earlier of going to this beach resort this coming weekend. I don’t know if I should bring up this topic up now or not.
Please help! 😦
Pleaseeee help!
Sarah,
Sorry, but you can’t play hard to get. You can only be an authentic Prize Catch, and if that isn’t how you feel, you have to learn. Don’t look for who to blame. Just take responsibility that you chose to lose your virginity to a guy already in a relationship, and you’re choosing to see him again at your own cost and risk. Only you have the power to decide what is best for you and give yourself what you deserve. NOBODY CAN MAKE THAT DECISION FOR YOU.
If you enjoy the pain, anxiety, and confusion you’re experiencing now, continue to see him. Cause and effect. It works.
Please get the EGuides as soon as possible. If you want personalized advice, sign up for confidential Email Exchange.
Hellllppppppp…….So basically Ive known this guy for about 5 years,,,we have been good friends,and have slept with each other a couple of times.Well,,ive realised I have stronger feelings for him and we all stayed ta a holliday apartment together and went to a festival,,,we slept together,but prior to this .we were drunk and I said I wanted us to be together,he said he wanted to,,we hung out for the first time alone at his house Friday night,,had sex ,had a lovely night together.then in the morning I left,,,,,,,,its now MONDAY.we have spoken at all for 3 days,he had a huge weekend,bucks party………is he NOT that into me or am I overreacting?.PLEASE put me out of my misery…xo
Sasa,
When a guy sleeps with you without courting you, he doesn’t take you seriously nor can he cherish you. There is nothing he did that is surprising considering how he obtained your company: via zero effort.
Perhaps he will talk to you again and be with you, but will he give his heart to you? Read the EGuides to make sure you learn how to distinguish between men who are worthy of you and your body and men who aren’t.
Hey!
So I’m in a situation that is driving me insane. I met this guy about a month ago, online and of coarse we hit it off. We spoke about everything. He already wanted to meet my parents and my siblings. Yes, we spoke about sex, it got to that point, but he told me he wants to be more than a hook up to me. Told me he wasn’t the “nail and bail” kinda guy. He spoke about us having a relationship with me but also didn’t want one. He also said he was falling for me. But even though, I was still wry. So we decided to meet up one day and we had sex. He cuddled me and we watched movies after. He drove me home and we spoke about the whole thing, he told me that I did not change his perspective of me at all nothing. We spoke about hanging out again. Two days later after having sex, he stopped texting me. I don’t chase, therefore I didn’t text back. I waited a day and a half and he texted me “saying what’s so hard about saying hi” and he was waiting for me to hit him up using all these pet names. Anyways we got back on track we texted and three days later the same thing happened again. He didn’t text me. This time I texted him and he said he was having a bad day and wasn’t feeling chatty, he said he called me later, I knew he wasn’t so blew it off. I then texted him again asking if he wanted to talk to me and he he did but he’s been having a rough couple of days because his ex who cheated on him was blowing up his spot. Another three days pass and I was having a scare so I confronted him about everything. I told him we had sex, whatever it’s fine, we don’t have to talk anymore whatever. He told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship and said he was sorry for not communicating with me more. He said he would try to change it. Also told me that he gets into moods where he doesn’t want to talk to anybody which I’ve seen before on his Facebook. So we spoke for another week and a half and he’s back to the same old not texting routine. It’s been about 5 days since we spoke. I’m broken of coarse. I felt like he used me for sex and if that’s the case, I would much rather hear that and move on but the fact that he’s been giving me mixed signals is just a waste of time. I’m done I wanna leave and I will. I’m pretty sure he sweet talked me this entire time just to get into my pants. I didn’t mean to catch feelings or even have sex with just happened. I’m a women and I have my needs as well. My question though is did I give him mixed signals? Could there actually be something that he’s hiding emotionally? He knows I don’t want to have sex with him again. And during that week we were speaking, there was no sex talk at all, just about work and stuff? Should I confront him and tell him what he deserves? I spoke to my guy friends about it and they say he’s confused and doesn’t know what he wants from me. I’m SOOO confused!
This sounds like my situation, except wé havent slept together…but he says the same things, hes going through things….my gfs tell me, hes not into it or me, but then hes texting me…sometimes every other day sometimes days apart….im also very confused!
Yeah my guy had told me he didn’t want a relationship at all then said he was starting falling for me apparently. I know sex changed his mind. Or I was a little pushy but if he really liked me for me, then the sex would of never mattered.
Mine seems to be quite the player, but he tells me that he’s looking for something “real” ..I haven’t met him let alone sleep with him, but he always stays in contact with me…I just don’t know if he’s keeping in contact cause he wants to sleep with me in the future or if he is into me…it’s not everyday contact but usually a hi or a good morning, but then nothing else…he has mentioned he’s going through a lot…I just don’t know, I get so confused and frustrated with knowing what to do and what not to do…
Put him to the test, when you see him don’t give him anything and wait till he’s actually your boyfriend. If it last a couple of months and he still hasn’t asked you the magic question, than he was just trying to get sex from you
I was planning on that, we won’t be seeing each other until November, we’ve been talking since feb, so we will see. He use to want pics, but I said no….
Anna,
Actually, I don’t see any mixed signals. When he told you he didn’t want a relationship, you should have believed him and moved on! He is not confused at all like your guy friends suggested. If he were courting you, the signs would be clear. You wouldn’t be able to get rid of him!
He certainly wouldn’t tell you he wants to meet your family and then have sex with you. And not even make you his official girlfriend.
Oh, and never ask guys for dating advice. They will always give their own sex the benefit of the doubt.
A guy who wants sex right away and doesn’t take you out on dates consistently is not relationship material. Why should you stay confused and invest emotionally in him, taking all the risk? Start learning about how to navigate the treacherous waters of male-female dynamics so you are never confused but confident and attracting suitors.
All of the EGuides give you what you need. Invest in knowledge to begin, not in men.
You are a Prize Catch — know it from the inside out!
Hi One truth,
There’s this one guy who is a good singer and plays the guitar very well and the first time I hear him plays in a gig I started to admire him. I admire his musicality, that’s all. Me and my friends would usually find time to go to his gig twice or thrice a month, but there comes a time that almost every week we will be in his gig. Never expected that we would soon be text mate (well he’s not that text addict, we text just once in a while) he was able to share with me his life, his work, his ex girlfriend and we just talk anything under the sun. And we end up in bed one night, I really felt guilty, dirty, ashamed, because it’s my first time. It was mixed emotions. I know I like him but that is not supposed to happen.
I talk to him the day after and he said he don’t understand why I am so worried, he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend because of our compatibility and that he doesn’t believe in courtship, he said after that “night” he said to himself that he would ask me to be his girlfriend. He had been in a long term relationship and he said he knows how to take care of one. He said he can take care of me. Upon hearing what he said I have no choice but to tell him the truth; that I am in a complicated relationship. I am married with a kid but is separated, he said he don’t care if how many kids I have, he would be grateful to have an instant kid with me. He then asked if where did I get married in civil or in church and I answered him the latter. He was speechless for a moment and he said he’s a catholic, not so religious but he believes in God and his commandments I said I do too. He gives me a chance to also share with him my story and he said he is so sorry, that he doesn’t want to add up to my burden in life. After almost 2 and a half hour of serious talk we both went home. I felt relieved because we talk but somehow felt sad because I know that might be the end of my fairy tale. I had a very tragic and traumatic experience with my husband and I have been longing for someone to love me and care for me.
I still go to his gig once in a while and every time he see me he will go to my table, hold my hand and ask me how am I doing. I’ve been giving him signs that I wanted to be with him again but he just won’t give in. That makes me think, if he is a really that good person or he’s just not into me? Thanks.
Loveseeker,
First, you are still married. Until you get your divorce finalized, you aren’t in the position to start dating again. And if you date right away, you won’t allow yourself enough time to analyze what you learned from your marriage in order that you don’t repeat the mistakes the next time. There is value in waiting, in taking a break from men right after a divorce.
Second, any man who says he doesn’t believe in courtship means he doesn’t think you are worth his effort and monetary investment. That is a red flag.
Third, by telling you, a married woman who isn’t even his girlfriend, that he would be grateful for an instant baby with you, he is demonstrating irresponsibility. He might have been joking or just trying to compliment you, but a man who doesn’t take into account all the implications of bringing a child into this world cannot possibly be a good father. Therefore, no responsible woman should want to bear children with such a man.
Fourth, if he says he wants to ask you to be his girlfriend, why doesn’t he just ask you to be one? He should be direct and ask instead of telling you that he merely wants it.
Lastly, you are seeking solace and affection from him because of your bad marriage. But you need a therapist or friend, NOT a man to do that for you. No matter how much you like him, he will not be able to be your friend, therapist, or even suitor (because he doesn’t believe in courtship).
A woman wants to be cherished and adored by a man she finds attractive. Without getting that, she will always feel unloved. This man is only capable of whispering flowery nothings into your ear. That’s all, I’m afraid.
But there is a way to turn everything around. Give a therapist a job and seek help. Let a friend be your confidante you can share your problems with. Get the EGuides to find out how to be a Prize Catch so you will always be treated well no matter at what stage of the dating process. Like countless other women who have re-shaped their lives, you can do the same!
Hey my name is Shannon,
I have been dating this guy for about 5 months. He never calls our dates “dates”. He always ask me to “hangout” on short notice and since he is always busy we don’t see each other often. I am shy and I have been having a hard time opening up emotionally. We recently became intimate for the first time and I don’t know where this is going. I don’t know if I should ask him. If so should it be in person or via text message? How do I do it without making him feel like I’m pressuring him?
Shannon,
If you want a guy to treat you badly, hang out with him and have sex. Men treat a woman as badly as she is willing to tolerate, and as well as she is requiring him. Which would you prefer?
There is nothing to ask. He has already shown you how he feels about you, that you are not worth his effort. Learn why and what you can do to be courted, wooed, cherished, and sought after relentlessly by a guy.
Pressuring him? He should be pressuring YOU! He should be asking you why he can’t see you more often, and why he can’t be your boyfriend yesterday.
Save yourself heartache by getting the EGuides so you have the right direction. Without a map and compass, you will get lost and go in circles. You deserve to know. Let him find someone else he can waste time with and use.
I slept with a guy on the first date. I tried not to but it was hard. We had text for a while before that and then we hung out. At first we talked and shared storys. He said he was really into me and we did it. The next day we text he still said he was really into me and used phrases implying the future with us. Then. Outta know where he says he is really busy and doesn’t have a lot of time to text. He has not text me in the past 3days even when I text him. What should I do?
Maggie,
Sadly, he was never into you in the first place. He was just into having sex, which means he was happy to use your body by conning you emotionally (getting you to fall for him). As long as you are waiting and offering, he will be back at his convenience.
Know the signs of a time-waster: no dates + texting. Any verbiage without action taken to back it up is EMPTY, USELESS and TIME-WASTING. If you get the EGuides, they will break all this down for you in all types of scenarios so you need never wonder and doubt.
Never wait for a guy to treat you right. You train them. They do accordingly. THAT’S THE SEQUENCE.
Hello One Truth,
I was in a similar situation except that he asked me over to his place so he can cook me dinner for our second date. Yes, we slept together the second time as well. Then, I hear nothing from him for over two days. I texted him just to say hello and asked if it something I said? (sorta joking cause he hadn’t contacted me. When he finally responded he said that he enjoys being with me for obvious reasons but that he has a “gut” feeling that it would be for fun and short lived. AND… that he got the feeling that I was feeling that way too (he’s a nice guy but not my type) and that I wasn’t into him, which I don’t know where he got that from. Even though we “fooled around” on the first date, I still felt nervous the second time we met.
Now, I know sex doesn’t mean a relationship but I was hoping that we would get to know each other a bit more before we would come to that conclusion. I just told him that and that I was into him but I guess he’s has his mind made up.
I talked if over with a friend and she indicated that she didn’t appreciate how he’s tell me how I’m feeling. Making out to be that its me. I know he’s was probably just using me for the sex, and that he wasn’t really into me and that I should just let it go. I just don’t know why I’m so sad about it. It really has done a number on my self-esteem and confidence that I just even want to try anymore. I need to get passed this somehow.
For the record, I don’t usually sleep with a guy I just met on the first date but I know I’m at fault for that.
Ismael,
Thanks for sharing, and hope you learned something from this. Remember, having sex with a guy too soon is like closing the barn door after the horses have bolted. Once it’s done, you can’t go back to square one. That ship has sailed.
You’re sad about it because sex creates emotional bonding for women. Mix that in with some hope and expectation, you form an attachment to a guy who doesn’t feel the same way.
Let time heal you as you try to move on. Meanwhile, study the EGuides, starting with “Get Over Him & Detoxify”. It will help you sort your feelingsn out and recover, as well as keep you from falling for a man’s slick moves in the future.
Hello One Truth, i really need your help and your advice.Actually what i need is your serious opinion about this:After 2 years of university,i fell in love with a collegue.We’ve been texting but nothing really happened between us,until one night when he FINALLY asked me out.
We went to a club,dancing,drinking,the night was awesome and fun! But sadly what happened next is this: I had sex with my collegue when i got drunk.The next day I called and he said: “Let’s forget everything that ever happened” . And now when i am going to the university, he is avoiding me. I really have a crush on him(he knows that because i told him that after we had sex) but now i feel so bad,i feel like i don’t want to go college and see him,i am so embarassed:(
Is there any chance i will be able to go out with him again? 😦 I think he doesn’t say “hello” to me because he also may be ashamed of what he did(or not,maybe he is just a playboy that played his cards well.But if this is the case,then a smart playboy would try again to have sex with me,right?and he wouldn’t be ignoring me at the university.)
Anyway,my plan is to get him back.I have one more year left of studying with him as a collegue.But now..all he does is avoiding me…Can i really do something to get him back?I mean the only thing i can do now is ignore him back.Obviously.Because he already knows how much i like him so i don’t want to be desperate to talk to him… Please help:(
Britney,
Welcome to the blog! It must be very painful and uncomfortable for you after what happened. If there is anything to be gained from this, it is to chalk this one up as a tough lesson about how men treat women who are not being a Prize Catch. Going clubbing, getting drunk, and having sex right away are not the steps one takes to be treated well and become his girlfriend.
No, he is not embarrassed about what he did. He is just not interested in you anymore. Men have a conflicting relationship with sex. They feel the sexual urge all the time and want to do it with a woman they find attractive (sometimes even that is unnecessary). At the same time they disdain the very woman who offers it to them. They may have sex with her and enjoy it, but will they view her as girlfriend or wife material? Highly unlikely.
The only way they will respect the woman he has sex with is if she is a Prize Catch, one who makes him earn it.
It may seem unfair in today’s day and age but that is the sad truth for better or for worse. The sooner you accept this fact, the better off you will be. There is nothing you can do to get him back. Men can’t be pursued successfully without despising the woman who does so. Your plans will backfire. When you are not a Prize Catch, you will be used for sex or rejected — more pain and misery for you.
You can only Get Over Him & Detoxify and learn how to Be a Prize Catch Date the next time you go out with a guy.
For your own emotional sanity and self-respect — I urge you to immerse in the principles written in the EGuides because they will show you exactly what to do, what attitude to adopt, and what NOT to do to avoid turning a guy off. They are in essence your personal dating compass and navigation tool!
My name is Kim. Met this guy like 8months ago. We were really close friends. Liked him so much was pretty sure he did too. He called all the time and it was fun. He told me he had a girlfriend but really liked me and their relationship was complicated. I was happy he told me the truth not a lie and I started falling in love with him. 6months in our friendship we had sex although I was a virgin and it wasn’t easy for him. We had sex again and this time not as stressful and before. And now he no longer texts or call like he use to. I feel so depressed what’s going on. Is he no longer interested in me because of the sex.
Kimberly,
When you learn something, the easiest way is to learn from other people’s mistake, as in reading about it, hearing it about it, or watching someone else go through it. The hardest is from having to make your own mistakes, because then you experience pain.
It is true we grow from the toughest experiences in life, so hopefully the pain will serve as a lesson that you can remember for always:
Now you know being interested in a guy who already has a girlfriend is the road to nowhere. You also learned that be friends with a guy you are attracted to invites bad treatment. And the final nail on the coffin was when you had sex with him. You gave away a highly sought prize (sex with you) without him treating you as a prize first.
You are depressed over this because you invested emotionally in a guy who should have been off limits, and who did not prove himself to be worthy of what you awarded him. The EGuides will give you the complete picture. They will give you specific things you can do to train a man to prize you, and the boost you need so you never allow a man to make you feel bad.
You deserve to feel worthy with or without a guy, and if with a guy, you deserve to be cherished. Find out how today!
Hello I’m Ally,
My sister introduced me to her ex-fiance younger brother and we hit off pretty good. He was very nice and everything was good. We talked for about four months before having sex and immediately after that he completely stop talking to me for about a month. Sadly I did begin to develop feelings when this happen so I was heartbroken. After a month of not calling me or texting me he has been continuously looking of me. I have repeatedly told him I dont want to talk to him anymore (even though I secretly do but I know its not the smart thing to do) but he continues to look for me. I don’t understand why he continues to look for me. When I give him the attention he wants he turns me away and when I turn him away he looks for me. I really do like this person but I’m just so confuse on what this all is. In desperate need of advice.
Ally,
When you have sex before a guy commits to you, you don’t get valued nor do you get treated well. I am glad you’re smart enough to realize you’re better off not talking to him anymore.
Why does he keep looking for you? Because he had sex with you before and wants to do that again. If he missed you so much because he fell in love with you, he’d ask you to be his girlfriend.
Know the difference. Get the EGuides that will explain it all!
Hi so I really need some help! This guy I like who I met about a month ago at a club said he likes me and wants to have a relationship. He said he wanted to have sex one night but I said no. Two weeks later we did. Now before then we had been on dates bowling, the mall, dancing, dinner, but I’m unsure of how he feels. After sex took place nothing out of the ordinary happened since he doesn’t and hasn’t texted me everyday since we met due to work. But he should make time! So he hasn’t contacted me after the sex, which was four days ago. One more thing he is always and I mean ALWAYS bringing up other girls about how hot or sexy they were and it hurts my feelings and he just says “Why you so jealous?” I have a nice body so I don’t get too upset (just question am I not pretty enough?) but I’m confused as to whether he is doing this to win me over or just to hurt me? I really like him and I’m the type of girl who does her own thing and could care less about a man but he seems unique and I felt him unlike the rest of guys I’ve met. His actions are hurtful though, saying he wants a relationship and wants to meet my family when he ignores me almost everyday. So my question is do I need to ask him straight up what he wants or just wait around so I don’t look desperate or too clingy? Also if I do need to ask him do I do that in person?
Also one last thing, he never believes me when I tell him I’ve only had one boyfriend. He’s said that I probably have lots of guys after me and in honesty I do not. Why is he even worried when he is the guy I want?
-One confused lady who does not want her heart broken, not again.
Confused Lady
Confused Lady,
Welcome to the blog! I hope you take to heart what I am about to tell you. First of all, whatever a guy SAYS to you should be backed up by corresponding ACTION. So if he says he wants to meet your family and ignores you instead, his words and actions do not match. Therefore, stop believing in his words, and start believing his ACTIONS.
A man’s words can no longer be counted on if he does not honor them with action. As soon as this occurs, all you have to do is watch what he does or doesn’t do. That is where all the answers you will ever need are. Why? Because he’s proved that his words are unreliable.
So there is no need for you to ask him anything. He has failed to make plans to see you consistently. He has failed in establishing a relationship with you. So the conclusion is he is not interested in you anymore. Maybe just for sex, but not for any of the things you want.
Save sex for when a guy commits to you. Until then, do the eyeball test. Eyeballs don’t lie. What you see is what you get. If you don’t get to see him, he isn’t interested. It’s THAT simple. A man who is interested in you would make sure you know he exists. He would want to be seen by you repeatedly!
And why should you have to compete with other sexy girls he likes to bring up? This shows he isn’t interested in finding an exclusive girlfriend. A man who wants to make you happy wouldn’t want to mention other women for fear of insulting you. He’s definitely not afraid of insulting you. So he doesn’t want to make you happy, because he wants you to be uncomfortable, feeling insecure, and at the edge of your seat. How stressful it must to be around him!
Lastly, a guy who can’t trust that you are telling the truth has a deeper problem. He needs to figure out why he is so distrustful. If he ever became your boyfriend, you’d be having to deal with him hurling accusations at you left and right. You’d always be on the defensive. You’d never have any peace. You’d always be exhausted trying to prove your love for him. Nothing you do would ever be enough.
What I see in store for you regarding this guy: Stress, lack of trust, and competition with other women.
He doesn’t cut it according to my list of qualities for Boyfriend Potential. Please think about getting my EGuides to get in-depth how-to’s of being a Prize Catch. I hope you realize you what he’s offering you is pitiful crumbs. The EGuides will teach you how to spot the crumbs a mile away so you can go about your business and find a healthier man for yourself.
It is all about dating with MINIMAL, not MAXIMAL, anxiety, pain and confusion! Transform today!
Hi im seeing this guy I know for years we started dating and then we had sex, I asked him where we stand he said is complicated since he have a girlfrend. Well his girlfrend went away and we started dating again but shes back now one day he text me abt his gf is back so I told him I dont want anything to do with him so we stoped talking but I really do love him and I feel like I did something wrong by ending it since I think about him my inside ache what u think I should do.?
Meme,
You did the right thing by ending it! He already has a girlfriend, and when you sleep with him and express loving feelings for him, you are encouraging him to see you as someone he can use and discard.
View dating as TRAINING men to be suitors. This way you get treated right or let them fall by the wayside.
I know what you are going through is very hard. Losing the love of someone is devastating. So please reach deep within and save yourself. Nurture love for YOURSELF first, instead of seeking it in other people. This is the only way to build self-esteem so you never settle for crumbs and mistreatment.
Anytime you are ready, learn what being a Prize Catch is about. Practice until you can tell your friends how to be one. Get the EGuides (start with “Get Over Him & Detoxify” or Get Personalized Advice from me directly.
You may love him, but sadly he doesn’t love you. If he did, he would make you his exclusive girlfriend and be faithful to you only. For the future, remember if a guy isn’t single and available, he should be off limits.
Moving on is hard right now, but the alternative is to be mired in pain. A happier life awaits!
Hi am juana I have been dating a guy for three years we always have sex anytime we see each other. I called his number a women pick up I said “hello” she says hello after a moment my bf takes phone when he heard my voice he hang up..i just get mad and stopped call him for two days in those two days he didn’t call & text I decide to call him the next day he didn’t pick up I left text he reply late ..the next day we plan to see each other he drive I don’t drive he ask me to come to his house in the morning Couse I always go to his house I told him that I need rid he asked me if I have pass bus I lied and when he come pick me up he find out that I lied. The next day I told him “I would like to see u this morning ” he says “no” your a lair. it been 6 weeks I don’t hear from him even if I call he doesn’t pick up…I love him and can’t move on . Help? what should I do.plz
Mwajuma,
Sadly, this is what happens when you have sex with a guy you’re in love with, without being his exclusive girlfriend. You experience pain and frustration. You must decide to either stay addicted to him and remain miserable, or move on and eventually be happy.
If you believe you deserve to be treated better, what you should do is get the EGuide “Get Over Him & Detoxify”, because that will show you the steps to move on and deal with withdrawal. Right now you are addicted to him, and it will be hard for you to stop seeing him without entering into a self-imposed Detox Program, which is what the EGuide offers.
The other EGuides show you what Prize Catch behavior is, so those will be helpful too for you.
Don’t be used for sex. Sex is not the way to a man’s heart anyway, so that avenue is the Road to Nowhere except heartache!
Hi I need advice I have been dating this guy for 3 months we been having sex ever since but at the start he toldme he doesn’t know what he wants it upset me but that was after a month of dating each other now he tells me he really likes me a lot we spend good times together but he says that he is going with the flow then I asked him if he sees himself with me in the future he replied he doesn’t look into the future last night we had sex I can’t say no unless I stop seeing him I called him today he didn’t seem to wana talk I feel like he thinking he can have me anytime would I move on
Marie,
A lot of red flags: sex from the start and telling you he doesn’t know what he wants. When you ask him about the future, his present actions give you the most honest answer: SEX, SEX, and MORE SEX + NO COMMITMENT.
He thinks he can have you anytime because it is true. So prove him wrong!
I urge you to get your secret weapon in dating and relationships when you Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.
Hope to help you further!
Hi I recently started talking back to an old friend we use to be friends with benefits and we met up again and we had sex on the second date when I asked him what kind of relationship this was he only said aww so I don’t know if this is heading anywhere I really do like him though. He texts me everyday but it’s just chit chat so I don’t know what to go to get him to date me please help.
Nina,
When you find yourself having to question him about where it’s going, you’re more interested and invested than he is. That is never good for you as a female. Please consider getting the EGuides which address your situation, at Order EGuides Today.
Hope to help you further!
Hello,
I recently met a guy on the 22nd of February whom I was very attracted to and of course he was attracted to me. He invited me over to his house the next night and we ended up having sex that night. He held my hand and treated me like a queen. We had sex the second night and everything was great. During that time and other times he would give me the keys to his apartment while he worked. We would laugh and joke around with one another, he ALWAYS asked about my kids, my mom and my family. I truly believed he was the one for me. Then the other day me being insecure about sleeping with him so soon and thinking about everybody’s opinions I sent him a long text about how I felt ONLY because he didn’t call me the night before like he said he would. Also, I would tell him what my sisters said about our situation since I “valued” their opinions. Big mistake! After he saw the text he texted me back and instead of reading it I called him. Anyway, to make a long story short he told me he wants to back off and basically broke up with me. I’ve been heart broken ever since because I know I put my foot in my mouth. He’s 6 years younger than me If that means anything. I’m 31. Anyway, I want him back and I want to know if you think there’s hope in rekindling what he and I had?
Thank you
Heartbroken
RNC,
Sorry, but because you rushed into sex, he wasn’t able to get to know you properly without only thinking of you as a sex object. Therefore, he had no chance to fall in love with you. And what were you hoping to achieve by telling him about telling your sisters? He obviously wasn’t ready to be serious with you and you got your family involved.
I don’t think there’s any hope. Unless you just want to be a booty call, he’s out. Hopefully you learned from this!
I urge you to get your secret weapon in dating and relationships when you Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.
Hope to help you further!
Hi im a cabin crew and recently i slept with an other crew during the flight we were flirting and then he ask me if i wanted to have dinner with him i said yes i propose to him to watch a movie as well in the hotel room so i was
In his room and we start to talk then we did he knew that i didnt want to do it because i will feel weird in our flight back but we did it i thought that we had a connextion the way he kissed me so passionat and the way he touched me he was the one that ask me if i was doing something during my days off i said no he said we will hangout then just a few message nd then nothing i invited him over he saw my message no reply its been a few weeks now still nothing im gonna see him in a few day during a flight what should i do let him go? Try to speak to him when i saw him ?
Nanie,
Please use punctuation marks next time! Anyway, if he ignores you, he doesn’t want you. You want a guy who wants you and is willing to take you out on a date. Without that, he is just using you because he’s bored and lonely.
I urge you to get your secret weapon in dating and relationships when you Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.
Hope to help you further!
P.s he told me he has strong feelings for me. And told me recently that am his gf. But he still texts and talks to the other girl on phone. And I rily rily like him. Pls help
Dear The One
There’s this guy I met in church. He came on to me, asked me out and was very good to me. We were dating and even sleeping together. Later he started drawing bk. I stopped hearing from him or hardly him for about 2 months. And later when I finally saw him, he explained to me that he has a gf nd he dint know how to tell me. But his gf doesn’t stay around and he has never slept with her. Since that explanation why he stopped, he’s been treating me right, we go everywhere together, he calls and texts me all the time, we hang out when he’s not busy with work and even go to church together. But d problem is that he still has a gf even though she’s not around. I hav told him to make up his mind and choose and he says he’s confused. Dat he doesn’t know how to hurt her as she has not done anything wrong to her. Pls I don’t know what to do, I think I love him and he treats me like a queen but I can’t share him with another woman. What do I do?
Frankay,
He can’t be treating you right when he is showing you he is a cheater. And do you really believe he never slept with her? Is he saving that for the wedding night? If you can’t share him, don’t snare him. Let him go — back to his girlfriend. Get a guy who isn’t a cheat!
For a lot more detailed information specific to your situation, I urge you to get your secret weapon in dating and relationships when you Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.
Hope to help you further!
Hello can you help me,I met this guy he pursued me text me and called.we went out on 3 dates.He seemed to like me after dating 2 months we had sex twice.He became distant He Would answer my text but he stopped calling as much.2 weeks went by and I asked him what was going on he says that he could only offer me friendship because sex accelerated things to a level he was not ready for,who knows what it could build into but it takes time,he says he has a lot on his plate while he work his life plan.I am still shocked and hurt.Should I walk away I really do like him.I waited 3 years before dating after 20 year marriage.l did not tell him how long I had not dated untill after he told me about wanting to be friends.help any thoughts,comments will be appreciated
Tangy,
You should not only walk away, but you should run. Anytime a guy you are into offers friendship, you become a doormat. Unrequited love is beneath you.
When he said sex accelerated things to a level he was not ready for, he was telling the truth. And it doesn’t matter how long you wait till you date after your divorce. That doesn’t indicate whether you know how to be a Prize Catch.
If you did not have the right conditioning by your culture, upbringing, education, and peer support for knowing how to be a Prize Catch Date and how to Become His Girlfriend, dating will be filled with anguish and confusion. Years, even decades, will fly by and you will not have progressed an inch.
When you learn the ropes and get good at being a Prize, you can finally say, “Never again.” You will be able to enjoy dating and be cherished. Get the EGuides today!
So I known this guy for about two yrs now going on three we hang out a few times we had sex the three time we hang out before that he wanted us to be in a relationship now he is saying he didn’t wanna rush into being in a relationship. I said I wanted to take things slow but he saying that he said that and I was trying to force him into being into a relationship which I didn’t. I don’t know what to do I’m hurt because he is spending me mix signals he took me out to the movies once its was a date he said we went as friends. I’m so confuse can u help me I think he is acting different ever since we had sex. I think becuz he has other girls on the side I really believe now and ever that he is a player and that he never wanted to be serious with me. All he cares about is these girls on his Facebook I believe he has other girls and he really don’t think I’m the girl for him I need you help how do I play this player at his game please help me.
Felicia,
It’s not worth trying to change him into a suitor (something he clearly isn’t) without appearing desperate and making him lose all respect for you. His strategy toward you should be “How do I make her mine?” and not “How do I keep her strung along while I see other girls?”
Get the EGuides and go by them like your life depends on them. This way you will know how important it is that a guy dates you and not sleep with you.
In your case, start with “Get Over Him & Detoxify”!