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How to Act on a Date

What is a D-A-T-E ?

I use this word in a pretty strict way, and it is NOT hanging out.

Should he pick you up or should you meet him halfway?

What if he’s a stranger you met online?

What if he doesn’t have a car and it’s more convenient with public transportation?

What if he lives in another town or city?

Whew. Now that’s out of the way, let’s continue:

What should you wear to your date?

How should you act?

What should you talk about?

What if he asks about your past relationships?

What if he talks about sex and porn?

Should you bring your credit card and cash?

Should you offer to pay the tip?

Should you offer to split the bill?

What if he wants to take you somewhere else after the date?

Who should pay for that?

How long should the date last and why?

What if he prolongs the date?

What if he asks you to spend the night?

What if he doesn’t mention going out again?

Should you go on group dates?

What if he wants to double date?

What if he’s THE ONE and you know it in your heart and soul?

Don’t make wild guesses and hope for a miracle. Get the EGuide so you can make the right choices and minimize undesirable consequences!

$15 “Be a Prize Catch Date” EGuide……………………..ADD TO CART

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  1. kirsty permalink

    Dear The One
    I’ve been taken out twice on dates by this guy.
    I told him after one late “what you up to text” That I don’t do Booty calls.
    And he apologised, by text, if had of offended me.
    I said it was ok
    So after 2 dates, He wants to take me away to a seaside resort for meal and drinks.
    “his treat”
    But it means staying at a hotel, which means we will probably have sex !
    Should I go ?
    I like do like him, and want to go, but i don’t want to be used for sex.
    Please help ! I need advice

    • Kirsty,

      Of course staying overnight means sex. That’s how he planned it. He needs to plan a date instead for 2-3 hours where you are in public.

      I recommend that you to get your secret weapon in dating and relationships when you Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

  2. carpe diem permalink


    I have really enjoyed reading your blog these past few months. Your advise is wise. Thank you! The fan base has become quite large am sure and feel you deserve compensation for all of your individualized and thoughtful answers. With that in mind, I feel we, who will now be paying for your advise, feel it would be good to know a little about you, anything really. What is your background? Are you a therapist? Where did you grow up? Do you have kids? Anything would be nice. Just as if we were paying for a counselor we would want to know their background/experience. An author of a book dedicates a page to who they are. I think it will make you a little more real. Do you think this is something you could do for us?…Again, your advise is straight up, amazing, sensible. You are a smart person and would just like to know a little about you.

    Thank you!

    • Carpe Diem,

      Thanks for your kind words and I am glad you have found the advice on the blog useful! You have been a regular poster and I always enjoy reading your comments.

      I can understand why you’d want to know my background and credentials. I’ve been a mystery from the start and I know it can be a bit disconcerting!

      However, I have always held the notion since I started the blog that I wouldn’t want anyone to rely on anything but the message to certify the truth.

      I believe every person has a B.S. detector and a truth meter. If my advice makes no sense, that alone should deter. If my advice makes sense, that too alone should substantiate.

      Certainly not everyone will want to use my advice as it may not be suitable for their particular situation. I accept there are many different situations people are in. But the message must resonate for anyone to use it and make it work for them. People are free to choose to use what works and ignore what doesn’t.

      My disclaimer let’s everyone know I am not offering counseling nor is my advice a substitution for mental health treatment. If it helps you, consider me a Life Advisor just a few finger taps away! You see, there are other topics I write about and advise on besides dating, which I may share with readers in due time.

      I apologize I’m not offering you the answer you wanted, so I hope you consider the wisdom inherent in my advice as who I am. That is my contribution to the world and that is the identity I wish to keep. Advising people globally is an honor. It is a sacred task that I don’t take lightly, and I deeply thank you and others for your interest and support!

      Truly always,
      The One

  3. Prize catch permalink

    The One
    I need some advice. I re-met a man I met 30yrs ago when we were kids we are now in our 40’s. We spoke on the phone and rekindled fond memories and hit it off really well, he is back in my home country. He is the one that did the calling after I initially sent a message through a friend. So far he has called me twice. and text a few times. I responded only when he makes a move and followed all the rules.. lol. Anyway I am going to my home country in Feb, this was preplanned before we re-met I told him that I was coming to take care of some business and see my mom family and friends he asked me what day but my ticket isn’t bought yet so I said I’m not sure. I was tempted to tell him lets hang out but I didn’t!, I haven’t heard from him in a couple of days and I am assuming maybe he’s busy etc. I know the calls are expensive so I’m not expecting too much right now. It doesn’t really bother me but what I want to know is if I don’t hear from him even after I’ve bought my ticket and I am heading home, should I call him to inform him of the date I am traveling back home?

    • Dear Prize Catch,

      Love your display name! Thanks for posting.

      Glad you didn’t tell him to hang out with you. If you’re buying the tickets to see your family and not for him, then he is not the purpose for your trip. Did you tell him you would be calling him? When you offer that, the guy lets you do the calling.

      For a lot more info, Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

      Hope to assist you!

      The One

  4. Olive permalink

    How do you change the subject when a guy talks about kids, marriage, etc? It’s usually along the lines of not being ready for that kind of stuff. I don’t bring it up (and I happily and honestly say that I don’t want kids). But it’s so weird that guys bring it up, even weirder that it’s usually on the first date. Is it his way of saying he’s not looking for anything more than fun?

    • It’s not weird guys bring it up. It is the man’s job to bring up relationship, commitment, marriage, and babies. They bring it up to weed out the wrong woman or wrong relationship.

      Your job is to give him your answer. Men initiate, women respond. That’s it.

      Sounds like he just wants to have a fun time dating. If you want marriage one day, then he isn’t someone you should see again. So believe what he is saying and take it to heart. You may want to have fun too for now, but I guarantee you after a month of dating and sex, you will change your mind.

      Women biologically want to find a nest and form a lifelong bond. There is no way out of it if you are a woman. Do not be deceived by tricks your mind tells you that all you want is someone to go out with. Very few women can pull that off over the long run.

      • I hear you with it being the man’s job to bring up relationships, marriage, etc. I want to share with you that when I was in my 20’s I wasn’t at all interested in marriage, yet. I dated men and I had longer term relationships yet marriage was not in the near future. I’m sharing this with you because as a woman, I wasn’t looking for the nest and forming a lifelong bond. It wasn’t my mind playing tricks on me either. It was were I was at in my life and where I was focusing my attention. It’s not about “pulling” anything off. Be where you are and trust it.

        “There is no way out of it if you are a woman.” That’s an extreme statement and not true. I’m living proof.

        I really enjoy your comments and suggests. I find many things you write to be very helpful.

        Thank you!

        • A,

          True, you did not look for marriage then because you were young. But eventually, later on, you changed your mind, perhaps?

          What I meant to say was as long as you are a woman, somewhere down the line, you WILL want a lifelong bond. There are some women who clearly don’t want it and are happy single forever, such as nuns. But for the most part, women identify themselves through relationships.

          Nevertheless, thanks for pointing that out. Glad you find the blog helpful!

  5. Dina permalink

    Okay i have another questions. :). If you are in a meeting or church settings, and after the event there is a guy who approached me and asked me, hey what are you doing after this and say, do u want to eat together. Is that consider a date or hanging out? ….i usually ask, are you with your friends? ( Is this questions sounds desperate? ) haha…And from his answers , i will answer , i will go or not, if i am not interested but enjoying his presence, i just go. But if i like the guy, what will be the right answer for this? Haha as if there is a right answer. Because my church is on the big shopping center, so sometimes i walk around by myself or even eating by myself until my next event…when i am with my gfs , it,ll be easy but sometimes i go to the event by myself. Thank youu the one . I had a gf who were asked on a date. She thoughts it was a date, and then he turned out he brought another girl with him, his bff girlfriend . That wasss so annoying, i asked her what did u do? She said nothing,,,i think that was so annoying and i told her the next time smeone asked u out, you need to ask him. Is this a date or not…is this questions not good? I learned a lot from you. Focusing on one will bring desperation. I used to think dating with different guys is wrong,,,oo i hope it,s not too late 😋…..

    • Dina,

      He has to ask you in advance, otherwise it isn’t a real date. So you must decline his last minute invitations to do something after church. This way you won’t have to worry about seeing other girls there.

      A date should be just the two of you.

      So you have nothing to worry about if you say no, because you’re being a PRIZE and only accept advance invitations.

  6. Lita permalink

    The One! this helped so much, after reading this you have enlightened me in so many ways nobody can, who are you?! you are a gift of nature! Aside from this wonderful blog that helps a lot of women, giving your time to really personally answer questions is just very very generous of you and for that I am very grateful for stumbling on your site. you are a gem! Thank you very very much! You have opened my mind a lot and everything you said is simply genius!! more power to you!

  7. Lita permalink

    Hi the one, i am a big fan, i have a different situation, , this guy who is interested with me whom i met online at a dating site( he initiated contact and complemented me on how very interesting i am and how he wish he can find a woman like me in his area and blah blah) he live in the states and i am in asia, he has shown little interest but told me how its too bad that i am so far from him, that if only i live in US , he would definitely ask me out on a date, he added me in facebook, and we have been corresponding every now and then,, i never initiate contact but everytime weekend is over, he private messages me asking how my weekend was, on how he have seen the photos of my recent art works and how he likes it and he always asks for me to tell him more about what happened in my weekend, i always wait for 2 days before replying and i reply describing briefly and in return asks how his weekend was, we correspond about once a week.

    I am going to US next month and this trip had been planned before i even met him, i will be staying with my aunt who was the one who invited me over ,

    He already knows that i am going, he lives in new york and i will be staying in california, he told me to just tell him once im there and he will fly to california to see me. He asked about the exact date ill be there, and also asked when do i think will i be able to meet him, i informed him about my arrival date in US and agreed to meet him but told him i dont really know when will i be free once im there because we will have family trips so ill just message him when my schedule is free.

    Now here’s the question, he already asked me out on a date and was just waiting for me there to arrive, since he lives in new york and has to fly to see me how long should our first date last? I am very excited but i try my best not to show that i am, i like this guy but i dont want to mess this up anymore and wanted to follow your every lecture

    I am actually nervous to be on a first date, i have never been on a date like this! All my past relationships were based on friendships, i havent gone out and literally went on a date with anyone whom i didnt know and is just about to get to know.

    I already know that as much as it is so much fun to drink beer and watch live bands which we both enjoy, i will stay away from alcohol on the first date because it makes me do stupid things and lose the discipline of being a prize catch.

    I have reread your articles many times so i have a guide on how to act, but given my situation, our days are numbered, since ill only stay there for 1 1/2 months, he can only fly every weekend to see me because of his work. ( he already told me that) and so he also invited me to go with him in new york and will tour me around just so he can spend more time with me. I never agreed yet on that, i just told him “let’s see”

    I havent met him in person so i canot tell rght now, i like him because of the illusions and fantasies i built in my head, but i am also careful and doesnt forget to think how he may be a pervert or a douche bag in persom.

    but if ever we meet and i liked him,

    – he incited e to go with him in new york, should i even accept his invitation ? If yes , how many dates whould we have before i accept his invitation?
    ( i love to go to new york but my relatives where ill be staying would be busy working so they cannot fly on different states to tour me around)
    – if i did accept his invitation how do i act around him, if i accept his invitation he will see through i like him , how do i remain a challenge? I was thinking of renting a hotel room and not staying at his place because he also offered his house for me to stay. Is this correct?
    – sorry if im assuming in advance ,i have not invested any emotions so if it didnt work out its cool, i am just asking in advance so in any given situation, i would know what todo. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you very much for reading this message and. Any future response would be greatly appreciated,

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