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What about Just Being Friends?

ONLY under one circumstance should you be friends with a man who is not pursuing you:

  • You have zero sexual attraction to him. In fact, he reminds you of your snot-nosed brother.

But even if you think you’re not attracted to a guy, TREAD WITH CAUTION.

How many times have you heard about a woman falling in love with a guy who repelled her at first?

The answer: TOO MANY TIMES.

Unlike men, a woman has the capacity to develop feelings for a guy she didn’t initially have chemistry with.

She got used to his quirky ways.

She started laughing at his jokes.

She got to see a side of him that was sort of sexy.

She started missing his company.

She started wondering if they’d make a good couple.

(After all, she heard it’s important to be friends with the man she marries.)

Meanwhile, what is HE thinking about?

He’s wondering why you can’t get a boyfriend.

While you’re feeling cozy in his company, he’s thinking about the woman he prefers to be with.

LISTEN: If you’re attracted to a guy who isn’t pursuing you, DON’T EVER BE AROUND HIM.

It’s masochistic.

Get the secret weapon in dating and relationships when you Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

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60 Comments
  1. just friends permalink

    hi, The One,

    I kind of agree with what you wrote in the blogpost about just being friends. I live in a remote area in a foreign country and met another foreigner about a year ago. He said to me from the beginning he is interested in me but I said no, I dont feel the same way, we can be friends. His friendship has meant a lot to me over the past year…we would get together once a week and at times text, etc. It was nice to have a similar thinking person around…to the extent that I realised I was missing him when he went to his home country for a while and quite happy when he returned. Now I am finding myself in a position where I realise I have become attached to the extent that I wont mind a physical relationship and I cannot just pretend I dont feel what I am feeling. Problem is he is not really someone that I would have been intereated in in the first place. I sometimes cry because I realise this is a very nice mess…a DYI mess

    That is what ‘just being friends’ got me into

  2. Jill permalink

    Thank you.. Great advice

  3. Formerly What's his Story? permalink

    Hi One Truth,

    I understand the pitfalls of hanging out with men you’re attracted to, but what about group get togethers? For example, organizations that I’m involved with sometimes plan social functions and some of the guys who I find attractive but who have never asked me on a date often attend.What then? Sometimes I think that if I don’t come across as friendly and social when I’m at these events, then I may seem awkward. At the same time, I know that sometimes casual and friendly small talk can be a gateway to getting to know someone on a deeper level and if that were to happen, I know it’s possible that I may develop stronger feelings for someone who may or may not ask me out..I wouldn’t want to stop attending these events because I really enjoy the activities there and I get to see my friends. It just feels a bit tricky sometimes when it comes to navigating my interactions with the guys I’m interested in. What would you suggest in this situation?

    Thanks!

    • In group activities, be friendly but don’t reveal too much about yourself. If you do, there would be no need for a guy to get you alone in order to hear more. He’d be content with seeing you at these events and you would never know which guy is interested in you.

      The purpose for getting a date from a guy is so you can determine his level of interest. Group activities are great to meet people, but don’t give you any clues for a guy’s level of interest in you. When you know his interest level, you know how involved you need to be.

      Therefore, don’t spill your guts, don’t reveal your own interest in a guy, and don’t be forward, brash, and aggressive. Act like you are on a date even if you’re among males and females. In the EGuides, especially “Be a Prize Catch Date”, you will learn exactly how to behave on a date which you can utilize for group activities.

      • fwhs permalink

        Thanks One Truth! Though I’m a little on the reserved side to even consider being forward, brash and aggressive, I’ll still keep in mind that it’s not probably not the best way to be (at least for me, lol) in group activities with guys I’m interested in, Thanks again!

      • fwhs permalink

        Hi again One Truth,

        I’ve been reading over one of the guides I bought (which are very well done!) that the only time it’s okay to approach a guy is if he’s never seen you before, but what if that one time, he saw you at your worst due to circumstances beyond your control? For example, I had to call an emergency service in the middle of night due to an issue that required immediate assistance in my home. The serviceman who arrived was cute, friendly, and had a smile on the whole time.I was pleasant and friendly to him, but still kind of reserved and guarded due to being a little overwhelmed with the emergency. To add to that, I had just gotten out of bed, didn’t have time to brush my teeth or comb my hair, change out of my pajamas, and the night before, I had this mishap with cooking cabbage which left my house smelling less than fresh. As I write this, it almost sounds a bit comical, but after he left, I felt embarrassed about being seen in a less than flattering light and couldn’t help but wonder that if we had met under different circumstances, and with myself and my surroundings looking a bit more presentable,then maybe I would have gotten asked out on a date, I have the serviceman’s card in case I need anymore help with the emergency, but that was left for professional purposes, but even if it wasn’t, that would put me in the pursuer role which is probably not the best way to go. Have you ever heard of any situations like this where a woman was in situation that didn’t allow for the best first impression with a guy she’s interested in? What would you suggest? Your advice would be much appreciated!

        • FWHS,

          I hope you’re doing okay now after your emergency. No, your question has never come up before. Just shows you can’t control when you bump into a guy you like!

          Perhaps this guy would ask you out if he sees you in the right circumstances, but perhaps not. You have no idea at this point. He might even have a girlfriend or wife already.

          To avoid getting outright rejected, being played, wasting time, and losing your dignity, give him a call ONLY to thank him. Before you do, prepare yourself so you can handle leaving a message in case you end up in voicemail, or handle not getting asked out if he picks up the call. And therefore, keep the conversation short by just thanking him for helping you and that you’re all right now. Then end the conversation before it drags.

          If he wants to talk to you longer, he can ask you out. He can call you back. Don’t encourage him. A guy who engages in long conversations with you doesn’t mean he’s interested, just that he’s bored or doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

          In my EGuide “How to Show Your Interest in a Man”, I said to initiate contact if a guy who never met you HAPPENS to be around. It doesn’t let a guy think you are pursuing him, if you keep yourself nonchalant. We all know what happens when a guy is pursued. He automatically thinks less of your value. And plus, this guy has already met you, even if you weren’t all put together.

          If you call him out of the blue when there is no emergency (since that’s the reason he gave you his number), you risk initiating a chase pure and simple. Therefore, do not go there. Stick to expressing your gratitude and hang up. The ball will be in his court. That way, if you ever run into him again, it won’t be awkward that you once called and he wasn’t interested.

          Remember, he has to ask you out to indicate interest. So only call if you feel the risk is worth the small chance of him turning the tables and chasing you back.

        • fwhs permalink

          Hi One Truth,

          Thanks so much for your reply and I am doing okay after the emergency, thanks. Yeah that’s so true about how you can’t control when you run into a you guy like! I sure didn’t see that one coming! So for clarity’s sake, I think I should give a little more details about the situation. The emergency I encountered was actually a drunk person who was banging on my door in the middle of the night who I thought was an intruder trying to break in. I was scared to say the least, and feared my safety, so I ended up having to call the “servicemen” who work in the civil service. Yes, the cute guy I was referring to was actually a police officer (and I promise I’m not trolling, still kind of find it hard to believe myself that this actually happened! First time for everything!) I actually asked this policeman for his name and badge number before he left in case I had to call him later to ask any follow-up questions or if I ever have any other issues with unruly drunk people banging on my door in the middle of the night (really hoping that never happens again!) That’s when he gave me his card with his name, phone number and e-mail on it. On the police website in the city I live in, there’s a section where we can leave comments to compliment the service received from the police. I was going to submit my compliment there, but then I thought maybe I should Cc the compliment from that section via e-mail to him? That way, he would know for sure that it was me who put in a good word. For the record, I really was impressed with his and his police partner’s service, so I’m not just trying to score a potential date (though if it happens I won’t be complaining) I would like to call, but I don’t know if I have the guts, lol. Plus, now that you have these additional details about the situation, I’m just wondering if you would still advise it? And yes, I know there’a a possibility that he may have a girlfriend or wife, but I guess I won’t know unless I make contact again? Thanks again!

          • FWHS,

            You’re welcome. Actually, the new information doesn’t change my answer. But I do want to add that if you call him, he won’t know you’ve combed your hair and brushed your teeth and you’re looking cute. He can only base it on what his initial impression of you was.

            Also remember, guys have a certain type or types. If you were his “type”, he would be able to see beneath messy appearances. This is good in a way, because then you know you can be caught off guard and be asked out whether you’re ready for it or not.

            Nothing is lost, in my opinion!

            • fwhs permalink

              Thanks again One Truth. I think that’s a really good point you made about guys having “types” and being able to see beneath messy appearances. If I was his type, it makes me feel better knowing that he could tell in spite of my unkempt appearance at the time. I also hope he took into account that it was the middle of the night and that I was roused out of my sleep due to what I thought was someone trying to break in and that all I could think about was calling for help and staying safe until the authorities arrived. Having said that, I know he won’t be able to tell that I’ve fixed myself up over the phone. But on that note, I was wondering if you think an e-mail would be just as good as a phone call? And maybe also including the compliment that I plan to leave on the police website for his and his partner’s good service? Or would that seem like I’m trying too hard?

              I was also just wondering if you could please give some clarification on what you meant when you said, “nothing is lost, in my opinion!” Sorry, I’m just a details kind of person and sometimes even things that may seem obvious to others aren’t always entirely evident to me!

            • FWHS,

              The best thing to do in my opinion is to send him a thank you once, via either email or phone. This is the least aggressive but allows him to contact you if he is interested.

              Posting a compliment on the police website will certainly make him feel good, but that alone won’t make him show interest in you. Doing this along with the thank you message will only raise your hopes and expectations. How will you feel if he ignored both of them? What if he did contact you, but didn’t ask you out? What if he called, asked you out, slept with you, and then disappeared?

              You need to know what you can handle. Don’t set yourself up for devastation.

              When a woman is MORE INTO A GUY than he is into her, it is her emotions, time, and energy on the firing line.

              When I said “nothing is lost”, I meant a guy into an Adele isn’t necessarily going to be into an Angelina Jolie even if the latter is looking fabulous. Therefore, you have nothing to worry about concerning how you looked, and you certainly can’t fix it anyway unless he asks you out to get another look!

            • fwhs permalink

              Hi One Truth,

              Thank you for reply but I noticed that the first paragraph of your reply that was sent to my e-mail is different than the one on your website. I was just wondering if that was an edit or if the one sent to my e-mail was just intended for me to see.

              There`s a couple things I wanted to address, but I`m a just little pressed for time right now to go into the details, However. Ill be writing you again soon..Just wanted you to know that I received your response and to say thanks.

            • fwhs permalink

              Hi again One Truth,

              Sorry this is kind of long, but there were a few different things I wanted to address,(hope that’s okay.)

              I took your advice and stuck to just e-mailing him (writing just felt more natural to me than calling on the phone) to express my gratitude.I didn’t post the compliment on the website because I didn’t want to seem aggressive. Before I sent the e-mail, I didn’t have any expectations about being asked out on a date. And believe it or not, I was actually hoping he wouldn’t. He didn’t and that’s okay, but he did reply to my e-mail that same night to say thank you, which was nice. As I mentioned before, I actually did appreciate his and his partner’s service, so in any case, I still wanted to express my gratitude.

              Thanks for explaining your “nothing is lost” statement. I really liked your Adele/Angelina Jolie analogy, makes sense:) But you know, I actually don’t really care whether he thought I was pretty or not, (though being seen as the former would be preferable:) I’m a fairly low-key person, and there’s many times when I go out with no make-up at all,but even then, I’m still at least always neat and clean (showered, teeth brushed, hair combed.) So it was more that I was embarrassed about my appearance and surroundings looking messy (due to a situation which did not allow for tending to them like I usually do) I know it may sound like I’m making a big deal out of it, and that I can’t do anything to fix it (unless he sees me again.) I think you had mentioned something about my being “obsessed” (in the automatic email that notified me of your reply) but that’s not the case.I think it’s more just a pride thing. Confidence and.self-esteem can be challenging for me, but believe me, I am working very hard at improving them..

              In the auto-email reply, I think you had asked if “he’s even thinking of me?” And the answer is I don’t know, but I’m moving on now. In hindsight, I think that the circumstances that I met him under may have somehow revved up my feelings in a way? I was distressed due to what I thought was a threat to my safety, and when he arrived I felt some kind of comfort and safe again. Also, it’s not often I meet guys that I feel attracted to, (maybe only once or twice a year) so maybe that’s another reason I tend to get excited when I meet someone I like it (though I hear that’s the case with a lot of people.) I’ve been trying meditation, visualization and prayer to be calm when it comes to certain emotions, and so far it seems to be working. I look forward to the day when certain feelings don’t overwhelm me and I’m completely at peace with them. I’m hopeful and optimistic that I’ll get there soon.

              In the previous reply you asked, “what if he called, asked you out, slept with you, and then disappeared?”

              This would be very unlikely to ever happen because intimacy is something that I want to save for the person I plan to spend my life with. I think it’s also a reason why I tend to keep a lot of guys at arms length, even when I’m interested. It’s not that I think I might compromise my values because I feel strongly about certain beliefs, it just seems that some may judge it. I know that when you’re dating someone, at some point the question is going to come up and I’m not always entirely sure what would be the best approach to take. I’m proud to have standards and values, but I know it’s a topic that needs to be approached in such a way so that it’s not awkward or uncomfortable. Do you have any other posts that delve into this subject? If so, I’d really appreciate the link. Thanks again.

            • Well, I’m proud of you that you stuck to just emailing him once. It was nice that he replied to it. I’m sure he appreciated hearing from you.

              You accomplished what you set out to do, and it is complete. You can hold your head up high knowing you were being courteous and that you gave him a window of opportunity to step up. That he doesn’t does NOT mean you are unworthy as a person and Prize Catch. It just means he is not for you for any number of reasons and that’s okay.

              No matter how attracted you feel toward him, there needs to be a lot more stars to align than pure attraction, for things to work. And some of those you cannot control. You’ve crossed the i’s and dotted the t’s. You can move on now knowing you did everything with self-respect. Some women would have resorted to desperate moves such as calling him and leaving messages, goading him to contact her. That is demeaning and only makes a man feel flattered, not interested.

              A Prize Catch wants a man interested in her. Simply being flattered by her doesn’t do the job.

              Before you become intimate with a guy, he should make you his exclusive girlfriend. Just let him know this, because you are looking for genuine love and commitment. Men don’t need lengthy explanations. They all know deep down that having sex with a woman without commitment is using her.

              So the above keeps it clear and easy to remember when you’ve been swept off your feet looking all dreamy. How far you go with kissing and touching without risking yourself too much emotionally is explained in detail in the EGuide “Become His Girlfriend”.

              Of course, some women can kiss and have sex without getting attached easily. Many of the ones who think this way swear up and down that it means nothing to them, only to find themselves hurt and angry when it doesn’t work out. Why? Because they got attached emotionally via kissing and sex. Sometimes a woman doesn’t realize the extent of her vulnerability.

              That being said, keeping men at arm’s length is a way to protect yourself. Just remember to work from the inside out instead of the outside in, as in having your confidence come from your inner self-worth and not an act to cover up insecurities.

              When you know you’re worthy and feel it and live it — which takes practice — then you won’t have to be too self-conscious of your behavior towards men. You will naturally and subconsciously be on guard with the wrong ones and loosen up with the right ones. It’s a lot easier to be breezy this way!

            • fwhs permalink

              Hi One Truth,

              Happy New Year! Thanks for your very helpful advice. Sorry for the late response, it’s been a busy past month. I have a few more points I’d like to add, but for now I’d like to get myself a copy of the become his girlfriend eguide. Thanks again

            • Fwhs,

              Happy New Year to you too. Glad you find my advice helpful. Please remember that a date is primarily how a guy should get to know you, not via other means. The date sets the precedent of how he should treat you by not taking you for granted. So don’t spend too much time chatting with him outside of dates.

            • fwhs permalink

              “That being said, keeping men at arm’s length is a way to protect yourself.”

              Thanks again for your very helpful advice One Truth. The above sentence really hit home because sometimes when people have told me I’m “too guarded” I wondered it was something I needed to change, but that thing you said about being on guard with the wrong men and loosening up with the right ones is very on point, and makes me realize that it’s okay to keep certain men at a distance.

              I got your eguide “become his girlfriend” and it’s really helpful. I think there’s a part in there that says that a guy a woman is dating may even have a girlfriend. Unfortunately, I know all too well that there are some guys in relationships who secretly pursue other women on the side. I would never want to find myself in a situation where I discover that a man I’m seeing is already in a relationship.(That would be like unwittingly being made a mistress, and in NO way would I be okay with that!) So what would be the best way to ask a suitor if he is in fact available without sounding insecure or giving him the third degree? (even if it may be justified in some cases.)

              I’m asking because there’s this guy I met at work (who works in a different department and has mostly different shifts than me) who started chatting me up one day. The second time we talked, I asked him about a website that he had previously mentioned, but he said he couldn’t remember the name of it. I told him that when he remembered, maybe he could tell me when we see each other again at work. He then suggested taking my phone # so he could text it to me. At that point, I still didn’t feel like I knew him well enough, so I wasn’t comfortable giving him my number yet. So instead I offered my email. We exchanged a couple e-mails, and after his most recent one, he suggested moving our conversation outside of work. I’m intelligent and educated, but I don’t have much experience with dating, (guess that may be evident going by some of my posts) so I’m not sure if that means he was asking me on a date? Is there certain wording a man should use that differentiates an invitation for a date as opposed to an offer of just “hanging out?”

              But here’s the thing, even if he was asking for a date, I know that you say a woman should not except a date via text or e-mail, but since I didn’t give him my phone # (yet) then how would he have done so? Aside from maybe waiting a week later till we saw each again at work? (and we still haven’t seen each other again at work since the most recent email.)

              When him and I talk at work, we seem to get along and have some shared interests. But there also seems to be some differences in our personalities and values. This makes me wonder if I should even accept a date with him if he later asks me out in person. If I decide to accept it, I know I would need to tread carefully. Not only because we’re co-workers, but also because I still don’t know him very well. And as I mentioned before, I also want to be assured that he is in fact available. There was one time when he told me that he was reading this book on rejection, and I jokingly asked if his girlfriend was giving him a hard time (not sure how slick I was in trying to find out his relationship status, but I tried) He responded by saying no. He did not however say “no, I don’t have a gf,” just no as a one word answer. It wasn’t very clear. This was prior to him suggesting via e-mail that we may want to move our discussions to a different environment. Maybe, I’m just overthinking things, but some things about him do seem to read as red flags.

              With these reservations I have, I’m thinking that if he asks me on a date in person, I may just tell him that for now, I’d like to just keep on getting to know better within our work environment. Also, in my last e-mail response to him, after he suggested possibly meeting outside work, I told him that before that happens, I just wanted to ask him about a couple things. I didn’t specify what they were, but it’s mainly just about determining his availability and his intentions. I’m not one to date just to have a good time, and so I just want to make sure that him and I are on the same page in those regards. These are things I need to know before proceeding, but they’re not the easiest topics to broach. Any suggestions on wording I should use, or if I should even ask him about any of this this, would be much appreciated. Thanks again.

            • Fwhs,

              When a guy asks you out on a date, he is wanting to get to know you and enjoy himself with you — not be interrogated about his motives. I understand you’re feeling very protective, but you need to sort out your own fears otherwise you won’t be relaxed and be able to have a good time with him. You might want to get the EGuide “Be a Prize Catch Date”. If you don’t get that, tell yourself it’s not the end of the world if he and you don’t fall in love with each other or do. You’re only going to enjoy what you are given, and cross the bridge when you come to it.

              A date is not a declaration of love or marriage proposal. Don’t fuss over a date. Fuss over your wedding preparations.

            • fwhs permalink

              Hi again One Truth,

              Just wanted to give you an update. I recently received an invitation for coffee from the guy I was telling you about in my last post, so I guess that does qualify as being asked on a date. The invitation was via e-mail but as I mentioned in the last post, when he asked for my phone # the first time, I wasn’t ready to give it to him, (I know it may sound odd, but still not quite sure if I’m ready now either) we also haven’t seen each other in person (and won’t be for a few more days until work) so for now, that’s the only way he had to contact me. I guess he could have asked for my number again, but seeing as how I offered my email when he asked for my # the first time, maybe he didn’t want to be pushy?

            • Fwhs,

              It’s fine that you didn’t give him your number, but he was man enough to ask so that means he is in pursuit. Also, I never said anywhere that a guy is supposed to ask you out only by phone. He can ask you out by any means, because the goal isn’t to stay on the phone, email, or social media, but to meet in person and get to know each other. So go ahead and enjoy the date!

              Remember, if you’re interested in getting to know him, then say yes to the date. Don’t wait for Mr. Perfect just to do that. Just abide by the principles of Prize Catch behavior and see what happens. Analyzing him all the time does you no good except to make you suspicious instead of breezy. You want to enjoy yourself, not be testy.

            • fwhs permalink

              Thanks One Truth. Although we don’t see each other often at work due to having mostly different schedules, I’ll still try to limit the time we spend talking.

            • fwhs permalink

              Hi One Truth,

              Though I feel I have the right to know what his motives are, after reflecting on what you said, I decided that I won’t ask him about his motives at this stage, as I don’t want him to feel interrogated. However, I still would like to find out whether or not he is actually available before accepting the date.Unfortunately, there are some men (and women) who pursue others even while they’re in relationships, So it seems that I can’t take it for granted that he is actually single just because he asked me on a date.

              You’re right about how I feel very protective, and I know (and I’m really trying) to sort out my fears of intimacy. I actually already have your EGuide “Be a Prize Catch Date” and have been reviewing it.

              I know the date is not a declaration of love or marriage proposal, and I’m trying not to fuss over it. I’m just a little rusty as I haven’t dated for a while. If and when I marry, it will probably be quite low-key, so ironically I probably won’t fuss much over it, lol, no future bridezilla here.

            • You just need to know if he’s single and available. Ask him directly. “Are you single or dating anyone?”

              You had joked about it before but he didn’t give you a clear response. So make it a direct question. This isn’t interrogative, just basic info before accepting a date with him. And if you already accepted the date, ask him on the date.

            • fwhs permalink

              Hi One Truth,

              I seemed to be mistaken about which mode of communication I thought you said a man should use to ask a woman out. It’s good to know that text, e-mail and social media work too. I read a quite a few dating blogs, so it’s possible I might have just confused another author’s advice with yours, sorry about that.

            • Fwhs,

              No problem. I wanted to clarify that so readers don’t think that is what I am advocating.

            • fwhs permalink

              Hi One Truth,

              I haven’t exactly accepted the date yet, because as I had mentioned before, I was just awaiting the information I needed before proceeding. When I asked him directly, he told me that he’s not seeing/dating anyone. Then he asked calmly “why that would matter?” I was a little surprised because I thought “why that would that matter” is pretty obvious. I responded to him that it matters because I wouldn’t feel right going for coffee with someone who’s unavailable. He said something like, “oh did you think I was asking you on a date?” (friend zoned?) That’s where it started to get a little confusing. I responded that generally when a guy asks a girl to go out one on one, that’s usually what it is. To that he responded that he was just wanting a chance to get to know each other better and to see if we could be friends, and from there, we could determine if it progresses into anything else.So I’m just a little unclear now as to whether or not it’s a good idea (he still thinks that it is.) For this reason, I haven’t accepted his invite yet. Don’t get me wrong, I think focusing on getting to know each other as friends (at least in the beginning) takes some of the pressure off, and I do feel more comfortable taking things slowly. But the thing is, if he only sees me as a friend and thinks this coffee outing is basically just a “hanging out” type of thing, then I just wonder whether or not it’s a good idea.

              P.S. I notice there’s no reply buttons in our comments to each other. I think it would be a little more clear if I could directly respond. I’d appreciate it.

            • If he said he didn’t have a girlfriend, then go out with him. I actually meant in my earlier advice that all you need to know is if he is spoken for. He and you are both free to date other people until exclusivity.

              Of course he is asking you out on a date. But now that the cat is out of the bag, there is no mystery left. He feels cornered and is on the defense. Please re-read the EGuides. Dating is not going to work if you are paranoid and fussy. It’s good to be cautious and watch for red flags, but you hardly knew him and you were assuming potential red flags which I don’t recommend doing at this early stage as it doesn’t come across as breezy and nonchalant.

              Like I said, if you are interested, go out with him. If you’re not, just turn him down. Don’t overcomplicate this.

            • fwhs permalink

              One Truth, (Sorry for the lengthiness, but I felt that I needed some detail to really express myself.)

              If it’s alright, I’d just like some clarity about some of the things you said, I put your comments in quotes, and my questions about them below.

              “Of course he is asking you out on a date.”

              And that’s what I thought too. But then why would he deny that the invite to coffee was a date, and claim that it’s just a means to get to know each other to see if we could be “friends,” (and then to see what happens from there?) Some may say it’s so he could save face, but I never indicated to him that I had an issue with it being a date. Aside from that, he also asked why it would matter if he had a girlfriend? The only reason I can think of as to why he would be confused by this question, is if he did in fact just intend the coffee invite as some friendly, platonic thing. Although platonic is not the vibe I got from him, I thought that maybe I misread him. My confusion about being potentially friend-zoned kind of embarrassed me and I told him that maybe coffee isn’t such a good idea, as it’s hard to be friends with someone who you think you could potentially like as more than that. I know, I know, too much information. But it didn’t seem to deter him because he smiled and responded that he still thought coffee was a good idea.

              “But now that the cat is out of the bag, there is no mystery left.”

              Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean when you say the cat is out of the bag and there is no mystery left? Is it just because I asked him if he had a girlfriend? (which I think is a reasonable question) before accepting the date? It’s hard for me to be “mysterious” and coy. These traits seem to be expected from women and I don’t really understand why. I’m a pretty straightforward person and when I like someone (or when I have a concern associated with liking someone),it feels a bit stiffing and inauthentic at times when I feel like I have to put up a front and censor myself to keep a guy around. As nice as it would be to have someone special, I’ve actually considered just remaining single if it means I have to compromise my true self.

              “He feels cornered and is on the defense.”

              I actually got a mixed reaction from him. Although he did say that it seems like I thought a lot about it, and he did seem a little uncomfortable discussing it, (which I felt kind of bad about and later apologized for) and he mentioned that my questions gave him an idea about who I am, he also said that he was impressed that I was able to be so straightforward. I told him that I hoped I didn’t scare him off (to which he said, no, not yet) and that I didn’t mean to cause any discomfort. The following day, he even messaged me to say he was glad we had the conversation.

              “Dating is not going to work if you are paranoid and fussy. It’s good to be cautious and watch for red flags, but you hardly knew him and you were assuming potential red flags which I don’t recommend doing at this early stage as it doesn’t come across as breezy and nonchalant.”

              Although I admit I am a little overly cautious and fussy at times, I’m not sure I’m at the extreme where I’d be considered paranoid. Having said that, I know that I definitely need to learn how to chill a bit more when it comes certain things, but it’s not easy. You’re right, I still don’t know him very well, and maybe saying that I saw red flags was a poor choice of words. But I consider myself to be an intuitive person, and sometimes you just get vibes. Like knowing stuff without knowing how or why. Some may say that’s a bunch of hokey pokey, but I’ve often regretted the times I didn’t listen to my gut.

              Having said that, you’re right that this does not across as breezy and nonchalant, but it’s hard for me to be breezy and nonchalant. If I was, it would probably spare me a lot of heartache, but I can’t seem to help feeling my emotions, (especially when it comes to dating and relationships,) in an often intense and very deep way. I’m trying meditation and prayer to calm myself down a bit. I know my temperament may seem like a bit much to the average guy, (or person in general) and I realize this may limit me in dating, but maybe there just might be some guy out there who can appreciate all the other good traits I have to offer, and won’t be scared off by some intensity every now and then. Some may say this is wishful thinking, but I guess stranger things have happened.

              “Like I said, if you are interested, go out with him. If you’re not, just turn him down. Don’t overcomplicate this.”

              I know this shouldn’t be complicated, but it is for me. I will review the Eguides, and hope that everything works out. You know I really appreciate your tell like it is advice and I don’t at all expect you to sugar coat anything, but I just hope you keep in mind that my views and approach are the result of very limited dating experience, and I am doing the best I can. Thanks.

            • What I meant regarding there is no mystery left is that when you press on for more details instead of just letting things play out and see what happens, the guy feels cornered and is forced to defend himself by saying “it’s not a date” to avoid being put on the spot.

              I wouldn’t worry about it too much now. Just next time, if he says he has no girlfriend, accept his answer. I hope you do review the EGuides and really note the spirit of what they are trying to say. It may take time, but it’s worth nurturing inner confidence and outer ease.

            • fwhs permalink

              Hi One Truth,

              I’m sorry I took so long to reply. The last few months have been stressful and I’ve been dealing with a lot of things. But I feel like I’m getting better. I’ve been talking to some people and continuing with my meditation practice which has helped. I hadn’t seen the guy who I wrote you about in my last post for a couple months.After I asked him those questions and details during our second last encounter at work, he never did bring up coffee again or e-mail me. He pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth for almost 3 months. But then he suddenly appeared in my work area a couple days ago. However, he didn’t say a word to me. He walked past my desk about 3 times and didn’t even look my way. I looked his way briefly because I was going to say hello, but as far as I could tell there was no eye contact from him, so I didn’t say anything. It hurt to be ignored, but I guess I understand how the insecurities and anxiety that came through in our last encounter a few months ago didn’t exactly show me in a flattering light or rather “prize catch” behavior. But it still hurt being treated as if I don’t exist. Although, I have to say, I did feel a little nervous suddenly seeing him after all that time and I tried to seem preoccupied with my work, so I didn’t look weird or desperate, but maybe my body language conveyed that I wanted to be left alone.

              I know this guy was never my boyfriend, we never even went out on a date. But during the few interactions we had at work, I did feel the beginning of what I thought would have been a good connection, if even just a platonic one. I initially was interested in him, but when he said he intended the coffee invite as friends, and not a date, (and I do believe him when he said that he just wanted to be friends, and wasn’t intending it as a date.) I sort of lost my attraction. But even so, I would have liked to be friends. I think it would have been a good learning experience for me. However, we never had a chance to progress to that due to my anxiety, lack of confidence and insecurities. I just feel a lot guilt, regret, and embarrassment regarding the situation. Prior to seeing him at work a few days ago, I was actually considering sending an email to say hello but after he actually saw me in person, and didn’t say anything, I’m guessing an e-mail I send may not yield a reply. I know have a lot of my good things to offer in a friendship, but in just a few moments of my fears and insecurities coming through, I gave off an impression of me that did not accurately reflect who I truly I am. I guess I just wanted to somehow find a way to redeem myself. I know I need to move on and that this has got to stop bugging me, but it’s hard. I ordered one of your e-guides about moving on, and I really hope it will help.If you have any other advice on how I could get past this, I’d appreciate it as always. Thanks One.

            • Fwhs,

              It must feel very awkward for both of you. Because you still have to face him at work, you might want to clear the air with him by going up to him when he looks free, and say in a friendly tone, “Hi, how’s it going?”

              Then say, “Well, I don’t know about you, but I feel so awkward after what happened when nothing really happened. So can I clear the air and let you know there’s no hard feelings on my part? I sometimes take things too seriously so I probably didn’t handle things well when we talked. I hope we can see each other at work without feeling too awkward.”

              See what he says. Then offer a handshake with a smile. From then on, just keep things friendly and breezy. Say hi if you see him. Just don’t try to engage him purposely or notice him too much. If he talks to you again, be nice. If he continues to ignore you, that’s okay. At least you got it off your chest and did your part. You are making a clean break to move on from the past.

              He is a coworker now so treat him as such. By bringing this up, hopefully the pressure will be let out of the valve and both of you will feel some relief and closure. Good luck!

              And as far as feeling guilt, regret, and shame, just know that life is all about learning as you go. You never claimed to be an expert on everything! So, there’s no shame in learning and improving. Who knows, he may also be feeling guilt, regret, and shame.

              You can let go of those feelings now that you have learned what to do. It’s a brand new day!

  4. L.L permalink

    hello, one truth

    what do you say about a guy who wants me to keep in touch with him?(and why he’d want to do that??)
    some background: though we didnt go out much ,this guy had confessed his love for me over the text.A month later ,He moved to a different place for job opportunities.within a few weeks he broke up with me citing he wants to be alone than with somebody,isnt ready for marriage yet.
    i was extremely hurt and felt betrayed gradually realised he never was into me like he claimed.i cut all contact with him.but this guy messages me time to time asking how im doing,telling about his little achievements (why??!).i respond politely but it has come to a point where im getting hopefull again(irritating ,i know!)..i dont want to have anything to do with this guy bcuz he’s just a time waster i feel
    how do i deal with him?should i tell him on face that i dont want him to write to me ever?should i block him?should i just act polite and ignore?
    i realise am still hurt…how do i deal with my own emotions?

    • LL,

      Breaking off contact from a guy you aren’t emotionally attached to is easy. Everyone knows how to do that.

      But it is hard when you’re still emotionally attached to him. It is hard to cut off contact with a guy when you have strong feelings toward him.

      So I suggest that you focus now on what you owe yourself and what you can give to yourself. You deserve to be treated like a Prize Catch, and not be kept on the shelf waiting, which is the role he’s putting you in. You owe it to yourself to know that.

      When you aren’t getting what you want from a guy, you need to back off and walk away. That’s why UNTIL a guy has courted you properly, never fall for him. A guy is no different from a telephone pole until he is taking you out. To think otherwise is emotionally detrimental.

      You want a guy to treat you well. Do you treat yourself well? Are you kind and respectful to yourself? When you don’t treat yourself well, you won’t be able to know what it looks like. You fall for a guy who treats you as well or as badly as you treat yourself.

      Allow yourself to feel sad and grieve over the loss of the fantasy. Accept you are hurt. Don’t deny, bury, or ignore your feelings. Feelings can only resolve when they are acknowledged, expressed, and accepted. Eventually they dissipate because they’ve been validated. I don’t know how long it will take, but let it take as long as necessary or the feelings will remain.

      You can cut off contact however you like as long as the message is clear, which is to tell him you don’t want to hear from him again, and that you’ll block him if he attempts to contact you. Then follow through.

  5. Hey, The One, I have a question. What if the guy you were friends with started pursuing you first? I know that my current boyfriend pursued me for two years in high school before I accepted his advances since I was shy about getting back into a relationship. A little background as well: I am in college and so is my SO, we’re both eighteen, and known each other since middle school. In tenth grade we both said we would be just friends but after I moved to a different high school (Personal issues), he started falling for me. Thanks and I LOVE your advice! You’ve inspired me to be more self-confident in myself and enjoy being a prize catch! Danke.

    • Ashley,

      Glad you’ve been inspired to be a prize!

      It doesn’t matter if a guy is your friend or not. He must be a suitor above all else.

      For a lot more detailed information specific to your situation, I urge you to get your secret weapon in dating and relationships when you Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

      Hope to help you further!

  6. Morning!

    Okay. So you know my whole story. You have helped tremendously. So my ex has texted me about 10 times apologizing about everything that went into the break up ( the way he acted and some other things).It has been about 4-5 months since the break up and I have done some tremendous SELF WORK on my self esteem and loving me bc him leaving was hard. I told him I forgive him and that all is well. We go to the same church etc so I don’t want him to feel guilty or that I am holding him in some kind of contempt for what he did in the past. Truth me told there is still so love that I have for him in my heart but my GUARD IS TOTALLY UP because I am still healing and moving forward.

    So i get a phone call from him, and I tell him I don’t want to talk. Bc really so much happened, a phone call late at night isnt going to repair us back in any way or at any time. She he says he wants to apologize again and he does and goes on a speel about all that has happened and changed and how he realizing where is happiness is now from and more. He then asks, ” WHeN CAN WE BE FRIENDS? I know I messed up but I MISS YOUR SUPPORT AND I REALIZE NOW THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD. YOU WERE WORTH MORE THAN I TREATED AND VALUED YOU AND I AM SO SORRY.”

    Of course I am weak to this bc there is still love there. But I tell him the best FRIENDSHIP we can have is the one at church. Hello goodbye church events and even bday parties bc we have mutual friends but that is the best I can do right now. He kept saying he wants nothing from me but my friendship and I get it bc I am a good friend but if wld turn into something else eventually. I know he still wants me and I can’t say that a part of me doesnt still love him BUT I am on my way to some greater things personally..mainly loving myself, starting a career, and trying to learn good borders and boundaries. SO when I say that is the only FRIENDSHIP we can have, he wants to know when we can be friends again.

    I am a lil lost as to how to handle this. It is easy to say no friends when he isnt around but he is. THe women at church be friend him and old friends of mine are his friends too. SO sometimes you feel like you are missing out type thing.

    How do I do this right?

    😦 thanks!

    • A.P.,

      First off, congratulations on working on yourself so you don’t fall prey to bad habits and red flags.

      Stick to your guns. You are smart enough now to know better. Keep it up! You can do it.

      I can tell you a lot more. Please sign up at Get In-Depth Advice Now for confidential Email Exchange.

      Hope to assist you!

    • A.P. permalink

      You left me another reply than the one above? And yes, I’ve put in some work building me up and trusting in God to handle everything. He has only aplogized through text messages and two phone conversations. Since I have that soft spot, I keep my distance, like you told me to (church and group functions). I believe your right him missing the love and support bc we were that to each other, so his expression may be selfiish or still about him. But he sent me and edible arrangement kkyesterday to my old job because I got a new one I start next week.

    • That was me anonomous. Sorry. Continued. So I got the edible arrangement and I loved it. But told him thank you and that was it. So I get a FEW text messagesnge last night saying that he does not want to give up on making me his wife. He knows he messed up, and was foolish, but he wants me to know his motive is to put a ring on my finger one day. He realizes it is worth it. That he wants to marry me STILL. Now, I still love him but I don’t think you can buy me back with fruit. Lol now I loved the fruit bbhha but like you said ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN HIS WORDS RIGHT NOW. I told him that I am still focused on me right now and that if him and I ever get back together it will be a miracle lol I didn’t verbatim say that but I said it would be God and all that stuff he is telling me should be his prayers. I don’t want to be MEAN. Bc I’m such a nice girl, it is a curse sometimes, but I really do feel that it will be mucb work to ever win me back and right now my heart is sooo guarded and in a diff direction. I don’t want to be bitter or whatever, but I haven’t seen anything that says I can let my guard down. I miss him and I loved the gesture but I won’t get tricked again. Lol so when do I actuually respond to his gift giving? Or I don’t think its serious until we face to face either. A TEXT MESSAGE???! Un un. Lol he still hasn’t been man enough to talk the past through. So I’m doing the right thing?

      Lol thank you I’m a prize alright. I think he realized that after the fact. I know were are jewels, but how do I make sure I don’t have my

      • I’m on my phone so bear with me or you can change it to A.P if you’d like. As a prize, how to we know when we are getting too haughty or prideful in how much of a prize possession we are? Okay all three of these are mine. Lol hahah I’m done. Thank you! Lol

        • As long as you are not hurting anyone, you will never get too haughty or prideful being a prize.

      • A.P.,

        It’s totally understandable that you are guarded and don’t trust that he will follow through. He’s wasted your time before. Who knows if he’s changed. You certainly don’t.

        You have to decide right now if you just want to move on for good or if you want to stick around and see what he does. Which will it be?

        To move on, just tell him it’s over and you’re not interested, and you won’t be seeing him privately or accepting any gifts. Then live your life. Maybe meet someone else. Date other men!

        To stick around, just respond to his actions. Go out when he asks. Enjoy the fruit. Let him prove himself. He has to honor his word and show commitment and consistency. Meanwhile, you are taking the risk of not knowing if this will work out and wasting more time. Up to you if he’s worth it.

        The choice is yours.

  7. nona permalink

    Hii The One …My question is how to deal with male friends in general..its very confusing just need your Opinion..thank U in advance 🙂

    • Nona,

      Male friends are great for friendship if you have ZERO ATTRACTION to them. What’s worse than falling for a guy who isn’t chasing you is falling for a guy FRIEND who isn’t chasing you.

      • nona permalink

        Like any female friend 🙂 thats my concept with them 😀

  8. Yours faithfully permalink

    Hello The One,
    What about these male friends I already have? Should I respond to them only when if they ask for a date with me? I want marriage right away. I am in my early 20s. What should I do with my male friends? What about my female friends? Will they send a man to ask a date from me? I am confused right now.

    Please help.

    • Yes, even male friends must ask you out for a date in order to prove to you they are interested in you. Without a date, he is just a friend, and if you are in love with him and purposely hang around him, you’re asking for pain.

  9. Kim permalink

    Hi The One
    I really liked your response to Dina’s questions. I’m a bit confused about somethings you said.

    “In order to avoid the fate of Anne Boleyn, you have to introduce your real self very slowly to your suitor instead of waiting to the very end. When you start dating a guy you just met, spoon feed parts of yourself bit by bit into the dating process. Don’t blast him away with something totally out of left field. By the time he is sufficiently in love with you, he will more likely embrace whatever you reveal to him.”

    While I don’t believe that one should spill one’s guts out on the very first date, especially if has negative energy (since you don’t even KNOW the person), I don’t understand why you said to reveal oneself slowly after the man is sufficiently in love. It seems a little dishonest/manipulative to me. It seems to me that we are trapping someone by acting much nicer than we actually are, only to reveal our uglier sides when they are already involved/invested in us. If the man in fact does leave after seeing our uglier side, we will have wasted a lot of time investing in HIM (even if it means good riddance).

    It seems much more honest to reveal oneself as things happen–naturally—both good and bad and be upfront about everything. For e.g. I don’t believe in pre marital sex so I tell guys upfront (not on the first date) but if the topic comes up or we are sharing our views. I could wait until he is in love with me that he may not mind too much but then most guys will just leave if they know they aren’t going to get something even when they are looking for something long term because it is frustrating for them to not get sex when they are used to it. I believe that being upfront may turn off guys but at least it happens sooner than later so nobody’s time is wasted. Ditto for other things. I don’t throw fits on the first date to reveal my angry side but if something happens that sufficiently irks me, I will show it. I show everything as it comes. I show the goodness too. The compassion and the anger, the loyalty and the fear.

    If man is so impatient and dismissive or writes off people …because they reveal a negative quality, he is probably not worth it in my opinion. No one is perfect and he has his share of negative qualities too. So who is he kidding when writes off or “disqualifies” someone based on something negative. He should be happy about the honesty and grateful that he KNOWS early on.

    Personally I would feel duped if someone showed themselves to be who they are not…no matter how slow the revelation is…even if happens before marriage.

    To me it seems more real and romantic to discover GOOD things about people slowly…hidden gems that I never knew existed along with the no-so-good parts that are inevitable. I don’t believe in showing a better, more “gf material” part of me first as an advertisement only to have man be disappointed down the line– not after marriage nor sometime later in the dating game.

    I agree with you about the mystery part…but mystery can be for good qualities too…quirks, hidden talents…besides people are always growing and changing as long as they are authentic, they remain a mystery because you can never figure someone out totally.

    Also, about dating friends…some of the best marriages come out of friendships precisely because the people know each other so well…the magic and chemistry happens down the line. That is the unpredictably of love. A girl and guy can grow up together playing games almost like brother and sister and then grow up and discover new sides to each other that can spark a chemistry more fierce than meeting some handsome stranger but because they already know each other it is all the more special.

    Please explain what you meant to say. I want to understand your reasons for stating what you wrote.

    • Kim,

      I write to help people avoid pain and confusion in the dating process.

      If you need private advice from me, please sign up at Get In-Depth Advice Now for confidential Email Exchange.

      Hope to assist you one day!

      • To Kim & The One.

        I have read both your statements. There is truth in all of your statements. The bottom line is: There is someone special for everyone. There are odd couples who people never thought could possibly be together, who still manage to get together & marry. People marry for different reasons. Different types of people, with quirks & eccentricities still manage to find their ideal partners.

        The one…the rules are set up for players, & those who do t know their mind. A real man, won’t need general rules to pursue a date. He is not bound by rules. A real man, will see a real woman, & immediately decide whether or not she’s for him. Players need rules & boundaries. I have had dates with different types of men, in my experience, if women have to have rules to catch a man, then the man is not worth catching. Marriage is not about games, a mutual respect for each other will not allow game playing.

        I dont play games, I dont know how to. I’ve spoken to men, who like real women. Needy women, or desperate women is a turn off. But if one is needy to begin with, then one needs to work on their insecurities. Yet, a real man, will sometimes find that cute, because it appeals to his caring nature. There are no hard and fast rules. It just depends on the men you meet, their characters etc. So in truth: When you meet a man, judge him on his merits, not on general opinion, not all men are what you say they are, some are very sensitive & gentle, & embrace a woman’s strength of character. Some men are not threatened by emotional needy women.

        So, let’s not brush all men with the same brush!

  10. Stay away from the party if he’s the only reason you are going. Men who want you don’t talk about other women’s bodies. They ask you out. They think your body is the best, whether it is or not objectively. He may like a certain type and you have some of those characteristics but not all. In my opinion, this guy is not interested. Go elsewhere-a dance, online, a mixer…stay away from losers and grief! LOL

  11. Dina permalink

    I have a question dear One,

    One of my best guy friends throws a party at his place on a weekly basis. I met one of his friends there. And I like him. He does treat me more special than all the other girls who come to the party. I did him a huge favor but he was treating me special even before that. I am not sure if he just thinks that I am a cool girl or he treats me special because I am the party host’s really good friend. Once he mentioned how much he liked this other girl’s body and her face at the party. When I looked at him he quickly said it’s only all physical attraction. Should I stop going to the party in order to see if he’s gonna pursue me? I really love hanging out with all of the other people who come to the party though. In general I have many guy friends due to the profession I am in. Does that affect my dating life? Do men really avoid girls who have many guy friends?

    • You should go to the parties not because you like this one guy and he will be there. You can’t let him take away having fun with your friends, but if you start going there just to see him, or find yourself looking for him while you’re there, then you’re in trouble.

      You say he’s treating you special. Is he planning a date and asking you out in advance? If not, he is not treating you differently from any woman on the street.

      For a lot more detailed information specific to your situation, I urge you to Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

      Hope to assist you.

      • Dina permalink

        Dear The One,

        Thank you very much. You saved me from a potential heartbreak. I’ll make sure not to fall for a guy friend. I have few questions though.

        1. I find it very difficult to enjoy my suitors. After several dates and or a period of dating relationship, I figure out that the guy I am dating and I have totally different interests and no common traits. And I think the problem is because in the past, the men picked me based on my appearance, body language, and/or how they feel around me etc. But they often misread who I am and show disappointment at the end; or I take them as good guys, only to figure out that they were bad for me. On the other hand, I think most of my current guy friends are much better suited for me than all the men that I have ever dated since I, the woman, picked which guy to befriend based on our common values, characters, goals, etc. And I also find it easy to be myself with someone whom I started out as a friend. It is also much easier to laugh and joke around a friend. Becoming friends first helps me to build trust for the guy. So at least, for a while, I thought maybe it is better to be friends with someone until I can figure out if I like that person’s personality, values, lifestyle, and energy. However, at least two guys have proven me wrong. As you said, men do not really wanna date their female friends that they hang out with. To wrap it up, I like generous, smart, confident, social, and open-minded guys. But it’s difficult to figure out if a man has the above traits without getting close to them, no? How can I find a healthy balance here?

        2. I met my past suitors at social events where people were required to be courteous and when I was at my most feminine (calm, smiling, courteous, dressed up, etc). However, I am more than that. Sometimes, I like to be like a little kid, sometimes I turn into Athena (very fierce, bold, and business oriented), yet sometimes I become a total seductress, but at times especially under work/ school pressure, I turn into someone who is quite and reserved, because that is just how I deal with my problems and find solutions. I do have this caring and nurturing side to me too. Is it not normal to be like this? Do men find it difficult to deal with a woman who has so many different personality traits? Usually, I get dominated by one personality trait for a day or two and switch to another one depending on the situation. I cannot switch faster than that, my mind does not allow it. To me, it seems as though, my suitors (boyfriends) generally disappear after seeing the other sides of me; it is as if they want me to be always gracious, happy, tender, calm, feminine, and soft; but I find it difficult to be always calm and soft.

        3. What about men who are like King Henry the 8th? He confessed his true love for Anne Boleyn and pursed her for years. He even turned his back on his church for her sake. However, he hated her after marrying her and getting her to his bed finally. Then he started courting other ladies in waiting. How to spot men like him?

        I love how you reply back to every single person who asks question here. All of your responses are thoroughly thought through, compassionate, and well written. I read every single one of them and I’m returning back to your blog on a weekly basis. Please write a book that teaches how to increase the number of suitors, how to select the best one, and also how to keep him in the long run, etc. Your book will be my relationship Quran, Bible, Torah, ;). Thank you! Wish you a wonderful loving, caring, romantic, and passionate relationship too.

        • Dina,

          Glad you avoided heartbreak! You raised some interesting points. The dating process is not always predictable, smooth, or easy. Your suitors may not be attractive to you, and attractive men may not end up being your suitors.

          You’re enjoying being around your guy friends instead of being on a date with a suitor because with friends you can be yourself, and on a date, it feels like a job interview, am I correct?

          If you do not enjoy the suitors you have, it’s because what you are projecting is not who you really are. You’re giving them something else, and attracting the types who are going after what you’re falsely portraying.

          To find a balance, you need to incorporate the part of you that is YOU with the presentable girlfriend material that is also you.

          For a lot more info, I urge you to Order EGuides Today, or Get Personalized Advice via confidential Email Exchange.

          Hope to assist you!

        • like! i have same questions. 🙂

  12. Welded Flower permalink

    lol Mon

  13. Mon permalink

    I LOVED reading all of these tips and love the way you write. Thank you mystery writer.

    Will send you a card of Prize Catch Moi and my Suitor’s first born.

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