Life is complicated enough. Why should you have to worry about who is right and who is wrong for you?
Let your Prize Catch behavior separate them on its own, without having to drive yourself crazy.
Your focus should be on sleeping like a princess. What sleeping princesses suffer from anxiety and worry?
So be a Prize Catch. Hint: If you don’t know how, get the EGuides!
If you do know how, the following is eliminated:
1. Men with mental health issues or behavioral disorders, such as narcissists, sociopaths, and schizophrenics.
2. Men with harmful addictions.
3. Men who are violent and unpredictable.
4. Men who are manipulative or controlling.
5. Men who are liars and con artists.
6. Men who are wishy washy, inconsistent, or unreliable.
7. Men who are lazy and passive.
8. Closet homosexuals.
9. Men who make bad lovers.
10. Men who make bad husbands.
11. Men who make bad fathers.
12. Users, abusers, and takers.
It takes a determined, patient man with a lot to offer to pursue and win a Prize Catch.
Which man makes it to the end?
If she is observantly aware of the red flags and won’t compromise her behavior, she finds out. His true colors show in the long run — inevitably.
And by sticking with the Prize Catch guidelines, she can RELAX and ENJOY herself. She doesn’t need to be paranoid and suspicious when she meets and dates men.
If each relationship takes an average of three years to get through to find out it doesn’t work, you can lose DECADES of your life knowing just as little as you did before you started.
When you don’t know WHY, HOW, or WHAT to do, there is no progress. You don’t get any closer to the goal just because a lot of time and energy was invested.
It’s not about your EFFORT.
It’s not about the EMOTIONS you had for him.
It’s not about the TIME you spent on the relationship.
It’s about the right KNOWLEDGE and UNDERSTANDING.
Get the knowledge and understanding that will save you from wasting effort, emotions, and time:
- By learning NEW ways of approaching the whole dating scene.
- By adopting a NEW perspective.
- By developing NEW dating and relationship skills.
Without doing these, you will repeat your mistakes sequentially and serially, one guy after another, until you waste so much time and build up so much bitterness and resentment that you’re no longer fun to be around for ANY GUY.
If you are inching your way to the destination in snail pace with little to show for, and want to get off the roller coaster to nowhere, you are ready more than ever for a BEHAVIORAL MAKEOVER.
Learn to be a Prize Catch today. (See my new article on How to be a Prize Catch Wife!)
So you want to be friends with him. Why?
Is it because he isn’t dating you?
Is it because you’re afraid you’ll never see him again?
Is it because crumbs are better than nothing at all?
Is it because it’s your last resort to keeping him in your life?
Just why would you want to be friends with someone who has the power to hurt you over and over just by existing?
The mere thought or sight of him will only be awful reminders that you’re not good enough for him. Why do that to yourself?
Friendship shouldn’t hurt. If you’re into pain, you need to find something better to do with your time and self-esteem.
You need to come up with a better excuse for wanting to be with a guy who isn’t interested in you.
(Hint: there are none.)
Or maybe he is the one offering you friendship. Why would he do that?
So he can have your company by snapping his fingers, without investing any effort?
So you can stroke his ego?
So he can use you for sex?
So you can be the Meantime Girl while he looks around for someone he can pursue and fall in love with?
Friendship should not be a last resort to holding onto a guy. It should never be on the table if you are attracted to or interested in him.
And if he is not interested in you, his offer of friendship is another way of breaking your heart every time you see him or hear from him. It is taking advantage of your devotion so you’re not free to be with someone better for you.
Friendship with him is nothing but an excuse for you to behave desperately. It doesn’t matter if you truly like him as a person and he’s a wonderful human being.
The fact that you’re into him makes him a dangerous creature.
Make friends elsewhere.
Excuse me, ladies:
Is he in a coma?
Is he six feet under?
Is he in the Witness Protection Program?
Did he disappear over the Bermuda Triangle on vacation?
Then why hasn’t he contacted you?
Why does he ignore you?
Maybe because it’s over and you refuse to accept it?
Maybe because he never saw you in his future?
Maybe because he couldn’t commit?
Maybe because he has someone already?
Maybe because you pressured him and stressed him out?
Actually, when there is no pursuit, the reason doesn’t matter.
It only matters if he is hospitalized or dead.
Listen, you just need to move on from this man. You need to stop with the excuses.
Give up trying to prove it’s salvageable.
Give up trying to prove there’s still chemistry.
Give up trying to prove you’re the best thing for him.
Give up trying to win him back.
Because desperation never looked so unattractive.
Even if his fingers were broken, he could still have someone dial your number for him.
Even if he woke up from the coma and couldn’t remember your number, he could Google you.
Yes, maybe a bit of effort on his part might mean he thinks you’re worth his time.
How do you think people found each other since the dawn of man? They busted their butts!
He can too. And if he doesn’t, HIT THE GROUND RUNNING.
Your life is waiting.
When you are afraid he’ll never contact you again, you will be more likely to initiate and be too available.
When you are afraid he’ll meet someone else, you will be more likely to tolerate bad treatment in order to keep him around.
When you are afraid he’ll lose interest, you won’t be able to be a Prize Catch. You will become DESPERATE.
There are ZERO BENEFITS in being afraid of losing a guy. Because, just what are you losing?
A guy who can’t step up?
A guy who doesn’t cherish you?
A guy who can’t be bothered?
A guy who isn’t around enough?
A guy who uses you for sex?
A guy who is lazy and passive?
A guy who lets you do all the work?
A guy who can’t commit?
A guy who is in and out of your life?
The only thing you should be afraid of is getting a guy who can’t cherish you. Other than that, there is NOTHING to be afraid of.
You see, everything he does or doesn’t do is INFORMATION that you can use to assess what to do next.
If he doesn’t take you out on dates, he’s letting you know he’s not valuing you.
If he doesn’t express love and affection, he’s letting you know he doesn’t need to in order to keep you.
If he doesn’t step up and make you his girlfriend, he’s telling you he wants to be available for other women.
When this is what you see and hear, it’s time to pull back. Time to give him space so he gets to experience what it’s like without you.
You don’t want to waste time with the wrong guy, right?
So don’t be afraid to do what it takes to see what he’s made of. That could be the ONLY WAY you’ll ever know if he deserves you.
He is not going to be giving you sound dating advice that looks out for YOU.
Why? He’s looking out for himself. He’s looking for what makes life easier for HIM.
He tells you he needs you to text him more often.
He tells you women should make the first move.
He tells you women should show more interest in a man to give him clues.
He tells you men shouldn’t have to pay for dates all the time.
He tells you to be more spontaneous and see him last minute.
He tells you to have sex with him because it feels right, not because he is your boyfriend.
He tells you to stop reading this blog.
Why? Because it requires him to step up and own his manhood and that’s too much work.
Why? Because he wants to do less for more.
He wants to enjoy the benefits without the effort or responsibility.
He wants to see how far he can go in making you take up the slack.
He feels it’s unfair he GETS TO BE A MAN!
So if you’ve ever heard a man say any of this stuff, it means really one thing: He doesn’t feel QUALIFIED for the job.
He doesn’t feel worthy enough. He doesn’t feel deserving of the best and going after it.
He believes it’s high time women take advantage of Equal Opportunity and do what men have always done.
What he doesn’t know is that there are women WHO HAVE TRIED!
Women HAVE chased men.
Women HAVE paid for dates.
Women HAVE proposed marriage, even paid for the wedding.
Women HAVE supported him financially, put a roof over his head, put him through school, secured him a job, and bought him a car.
Women HAVE played the male role and guess what happened?
She ended up being frustrated, resentful, bitter and exhausted.
She ended up feeling unloved and used.
He took her so much for granted he sometimes ended up cheating on her.
So don’t fall for his advice because guess what?
You’ll pay for it — dearly and literally with money, time, emotional pain, STDs, and more.
Remember, your role as the PRIZE CATCH is a female role reserved for you. It is for your emotional safety.
He needs to stick to his role, and if he cannot, YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF A MAN HE IS.
You might think you’re prettier than than she is, than anyone he’s been with.
You might think none of the women he’s known have what it takes to snag him.
You know you can dazzle him with your smile, style, or conversation.
Hey, your friends think you’re wonderful. Why wouldn’t he?
You believe you’re extra special or different.
Well, maybe you are.
But HE remains the same. He still hates being pressured into a relationship and being emasculated.
In fact, he dumped the last girl because she nagged him and made threats when he didn’t do what she wanted.
The previous one lied to him that she was pregnant, to keep him.
The one previous to that thought he wanted to marry her just because she met his Mom.
And he’ll never forget that one who left over fifty text messages all in one day, after he ignored her.
Yes, he wants someone special. A Prize Catch. But don’t delude yourself to think all you have to do is be a different girl with a different name to make him YOURS.
He’s not going to care that you are prettier, funnier, smarter, sexier, or make more money than the others. He may be intrigued at first, but that is not what will keep him around.
You may be EXCEPTIONAL, but you’re not the exception.
So STICK WITH THE PROGRAM. Know your worth. And act on that.
Unless you do, you’ll join the list of females who couldn’t win his heart because they forced their way in. They believed too much in their “specialness” and forgot to be and act like a PRIZE.
If you are a PRIZE CATCH, you don’t assume anything:
You don’t assume just because you’re ready, he is too.
You don’t assume just because he’s pursued you, he wants to make you his girlfriend or wife.
You don’t assume just because he told you he loves you, he will love you forever.
You don’t assume just because he let you spend the night, you should move in with him.
You don’t assume just because he says he wants to have kids one day, that he wants you to bear them.
You bank on YOU. The work you do on yourself, your self-esteem, your personal goals, and your life.
Too many women are mesmerized by a man’s appearance, body, personality, voice, touch, smell, style, talents, accomplishments, credentials, and resume. And potential.
You can’t help it. In fact, he’s a real catch or else you wouldn’t even bother thinking about him, right?
And as you think about him, you start pinning hopes on him. You start fantasizing about you and him as a couple out and about together, between the sheets, down the aisle, and having babies.
Meanwhile, he has yet to prove via ACTION he is feeling the same way about YOU.
So how did you get here?
You got here by focusing on WHO he is and WHAT he is instead of HOW he treats you. Somewhere along the way you developed a prototype of Prince Charming in your fantasy laboratory and honed in on any man that remotely resembles him.
When you see such a man, HE’s the one. Whoohoo!
Or, a guy starts talking to you and he doesn’t even fit the script. But because you REALLY REALLY want to be with a man and you’re tired of waiting, you find yourself falling for him anyway, putting on special lenses so he can morph into Prince Charming.
But is he THE ONE?
Only if he is treating you right, with actions that merit your attention and favorable response.
Because if Prince Charming does not step up and Joe Average does, guess which one is the guy you’re better off with?
A suitor is a man who PURSUES you. Not a Prince Charming who gallops away on a horse and requires you to trot after him.
Don’t allow your “type” to lead you to UNREQUITED LOVE.
Don’t fall for WHO he is. Fall for how well he TREATS YOU, because that is the only thing that you will end up caring about. Ever.
His hotness will barely register in your brain by the time he has caused you enough pain and misery. You will be complaining about how he never steps up or how he isn’t doing enough. You will be bitter and disappointed.
The deal breaker lies squarely in the way he TREATS you. So focus on that. Let your feelings develop because of that!