be a challenge, dating, dating advice, find mr right, men love challenge, playing hard to get, the right one, the rules, why men should pursue women, women shouldn't chase men
Weed out Mr. Wrongs
Life is complicated enough. Why should you have to worry about who is right and who is wrong for you?
Let your Prize Catch behavior separate them on its own, without having to drive yourself crazy.
Your focus should be on sleeping like a princess. What sleeping princesses suffer from anxiety and worry?
So be a Prize Catch.
If you do know how, the following is eliminated:
1. Men with mental health issues or behavioral disorders, such as narcissists, sociopaths, and schizophrenics.
2. Men with harmful addictions.
3. Men who are violent and unpredictable.
4. Men who are manipulative or controlling.
5. Men who are liars and con artists.
6. Men who are wishy washy, inconsistent, or unreliable.
7. Men who are lazy and passive.
8. Closet homosexuals.
9. Men who make bad lovers.
10. Men who make bad husbands.
11. Men who make bad fathers.
12. Users, abusers, and takers.
It takes a determined, patient man with a lot to offer to pursue and win a Prize Catch.
Which man makes it to the end?
If she is observantly aware of the red flags and won’t compromise her behavior, she finds out. His true colors show in the long run — inevitably.
And by sticking with the Prize Catch guidelines, she can RELAX and ENJOY herself. She doesn’t need to be paranoid and suspicious when she meets and dates men.
If each relationship takes an average of three years to get through to find out it doesn’t work, you can lose DECADES of your life knowing just as little as you did before you started.
When you don’t know WHY, HOW, or WHAT to do, there is no progress. You don’t get any closer to the goal just because a lot of time and energy was invested.
It’s not about your EFFORT.
It’s not about the EMOTIONS you had for him.
It’s not about the TIME you spent on the relationship.
It’s about the right KNOWLEDGE and UNDERSTANDING.
Get the knowledge and understanding that will save you from wasting effort, emotions, and time:
- By learning NEW ways of approaching the whole dating scene.
- By adopting a NEW perspective.
- By developing NEW dating and relationship skills.
Without doing these, you will repeat your mistakes sequentially and serially, one guy after another, until you waste so much time and build up so much bitterness and resentment that you’re no longer fun to be around for ANY GUY.
If you are inching your way to the destination in snail pace with little to show for, and want to get off the roller coaster to nowhere, you are ready more than ever for a BEHAVIORAL MAKEOVER.
Learn to be a Prize Catch today.
* * * * *
EGuides Testimonials Do All Men Pursue? But What If He’s… Reasons Why a Man Doesn’t Pursue False Indicators of a Man’s Interest How to Show Your Interest in a Man How to Act on a Date After the Date, Then What? How to Become His Girlfriend When & How to Reciprocate When to Let Him Go and Move On How to Get Him Back If You’ve Had Sex with Him What about Just Being Friends? Say No to Hanging Out After You Become His Girlfriend How to Be a Prize Catch Wife Online Dating Be a Prize Catch Single Prize Catch Dictionary
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Let Men Chase You 
I found this article and the list is by no means exhaustive, it is interesting tho, topical too, and thought I’d share:
If you want real love, you have to let go of the ones who will just weigh you down. So which guys should you completely avoid in the dating world? By Charley Reid…
Qudsiamall,
Very interesting. I like his suggestions! But to avoid someone else’s copyrighted content on my blog, in the future please just write in your own words about what you’ve read (no links). Thanks for posting!
Sure, will do in future, thanks
Dear Truth,
I have an idea about a post (or potentially EGuide) you could make.
Since women are so obsessed with the ”future potentials” of the man, and since the stability and balance of your future family largely depends on how successful the man is, you could make a post about ”How to make a man successful in his job / career”, how a woman/girlfriend/wife can affect his career, uplift him, help him forward, help him to earn more money for the family, thus be happier and balanced. I believe the success of a man not only affects the happiness of the relationship and the woman’s life in long term, but vice versa i.e. the woman in a man’s life has an immense effect on how much success he achieves in life.
I have a very personal example. I know this, because in my family my father had great potential, but he was lazy and passive, I guess because my mother never motivated him properly to go out of his comfort zone and achieve something really great. He remained average, not that we’re hungry or something, but he’s now in his 60s, divorced, and I have a feeling he hasn’t fulfilled his highest potential that he could have achieved if he gets a woman who knows how to handle a man. He could have made a good university professor, but instead he was just floating around jobs and never really found himself totally in any job I think.
I think I read it in Napoleon Hill’s book that every man who makes great success in life does it because of a woman (his wife or lover), or because of a previous pain/rejection he could never get over.
This would make a great post! 🙂 How to be a girlfriend that makes a man successful, that will be his engine into success. I think he’d definitely be happy and grateful, and it would make the marriage stable as well (looking back at parents divorce….)! 🙂 My mother probably never appreciated him and the huge power he had as a man, since my mother could make success on her own, thus forgot that she could have an influence on my father.
Successful woman sometimes forget that their marriage will only be happy and stable if the man is successful too.
Looking forward to your posts!
To what extent is it true that a woman ”creates” his man? 🙂 Women have a lot more power than they think, they are just tend to be ignorant of this fact I think.
Or they don’t know how to use this power.
Anne,
True power is knowing you’re enough. There is nothing to prove. There is no one you have to fix or improve.
Anne,
A great many successful men have wives behind them in helping them become that way. But likewise there are many successful women who couldn’t have done it without their husbands. Therefore, I advocate mutual support for one another!
In case if college guys are not ”ready” to be suitors, what are the rules on dating one, how can i behave as a price catch when dating a guy in my college? are there any modifications to the prize catch rules? i know many people find their future husbands / wives while in college…
Anne,
There is only one kind of man a Prize Catch pays attention to in dating, it’s spelled S-U-I-T-O-R. Remember, when a guy isn’t pursuing you, he’s never ready.
You can modify anything written on the blog, but whether it will work in your favor is your risk to take! Hopefully what I write helps you to avoid getting burned and spurned. Yes, many people find their spouses in college. But half of them will divorce. And most of the divorces will be initiated by women. Why would that be? Could it be they pressured the men to marry and it backfired? Or they weren’t cherished by their husbands? Or something else?
Anyone who wants a divorce isn’t happy in their marriage. Therefore, don’t assume these couples are going to stay happily married. And for the ones that do stay married, you don’t know what she needs to put up with to keep the marriage together. You don’t know she is cherished. You don’t know if they are even having sex after three years.
Do what works, not what you think others are doing!
Thanks for your wise words! I still cannot believe where you could have acquired all your knowledge, today’s media has such a bad effect on people, it depicts a very idealistic picture of relationships (for both men and women) even though the truth is very far from that, so most people finds out the hard way. Your advice is sound and if I finally manage to find a suitor (although I’m only 22 yet, so it will be hard I guess) I’ll tell you my experience whether all these have worked or not. 😉 Cheers
Thanks for the kind words, Anne! I hope you do share with us how you apply your Prize Catch knowledge when you meet your suitor!
Dear one truth,
I’m looking forward to your post about how to be a prize catch single, i.e. what life you should live, what feminine character you should possess, how you should improve yourself in order to be a prize catch single.
I think some advice on what men find attractive in a woman (i. e what they need to see in you that will make them start to pursue you) would be helpful. I think confidence is one of the keys here.
anne
Anne,
The Prize Catch Single EGuide will cover all of that — thanks for patiently waiting. And you’re right, confidence is key:
Confidence without ego.
Sweetness without weakness.
Strength without dominance.
Stay tuned!
Also I know men tend to differentiate between women who are called ”high-maintenance” and ”low-maintenance”, that’s also a useful aspect. 🙂
Anne,
Ok, I’ll see how I can address that in the EGuide. Thanks for your input!
How do I eliminate men with harmful addictions? – What if he says he’s willing to try to change, or is it possible somehow to persuade him? Is it worth ever trying to wait for a man to change?
If he’s going to change, he can, and should be able to do it without you. if he’s willing to change, he needs to put his money where his mouth is! Or you are gone. What are promises? They do nothing but give you false hope.
Believe me, you don’t want to wait around years for someone to change, they are just wasting your time. You don’t have to be there for him to change. if he’s serious, he’ll change and come back to you, better than ever. If not, well, you have your answer and have just saved yourself years,
Anne, I can relate so I’m responding to you. You get rid of them. That’s what you do because a man with an addiction will most likely not change. They only say that so you won’t dump them. In the end the drugs always wins. Now if he really means business then let him get some professional help because you alone cannot help him with his addiction.
I did dump my ex who is addicted to marijuana. I don’t care what anybody says that stuff is addicting. He said he wanted to cut down but I would see he would buy more every time he would get his check. There wasn’t any food on his fridge but he made sure he wasn’t short on Mary j.. Plus his place stank it was awful. Now I’m more at peace and I don’t have to put up with him and his problem anymore. I deserve waaay better and so do you 😉
And what did you tell him when you dump him? ” sorry babe, you have a little problem, you have a marijuana addiction, and for me it is not acceptable, so it was nice to meet you!” ?
I did, but mostly I was just fed up with his lies and selfish ways. This person was very immature and did not have his priorities straight. I have a son and I don’t need a man who uses drugs. I cut my losses. I have to put my son and myself first.
Eve, you did absolutely right.
Probably after knowing this, I wouldn’t even start dating a man who’s on marijuana or any other drugs. It means there’s something wrong with the guy, that his life is not straight.
I have had my fair share of bad relationships in the past and I am glad I was able to get out of them because they weren’t perfect. But I am heartbroken over my last ex who I broke up with over his jealousy issues and coke addiction. I feel like I ended things too quickly even though he recognized his issues and wanted to change. All of me ex’s in the past were comfortable with their flaws and didn’t care when I was unhappy, and I wasted much time to see no improvement. Instead of taking a chance on him I decided to break things off and look for someone else.
But now I regret not giving my ex a chance because he worked out his issues after me, and has been in a happy relationship for a year now without trust issues or drugs. I know this because I felt a little desperate and reached out to him to see if there was a chance for us to get back together, but he was happily committed and did not want to mess up the trusting relationship that he built with his new girlfriend. I still remember him telling me that he wanted to work on his jealousy and drug issues when we were ending our relationship, but I didn’t want to believe it, and now that he has improved himself he is in a better relationship without me. The relationship that I always wanted! I feel like I gave up on him too soon, but I am happy for him.
I don’t believe there are perfect men in the world. The right man for me is the one that continues to work on himself, and continues to put in the effort to make me happy.
He’s a drug user and could easily be lying about giving up his coke habit. He may relapse. You never know. Maybe this new girl is miserable with him. You just never really know what really is going on. Does he still have jealousy issues? He probably does, those don’t just go away. You don’t really know how happy he really is with his current GF, or if she is really happy with him, for all that matter.
I know it’s hard, but sometimes you just have to let go…drug addiction and jealousy are definitely grounds for breaking up with someone.
Jenna, good that you got rid of him! You don’t need those type of problems in your life. It looks like he wasn’t feeling you anymore since he is in another relationship so quickly. It wasn’t meant to be.. Just take this as a learning experience next time you get into a relationship. Make drug using a deal breaker so you won’t have to put up with it. Besides jealousy is a sign of an insecure man. Best of luck.
Only thing is, once you weed out all the crazies, abusers, takers, bad lovers and narcissists, there aren’t many attractive men left 😦
Also, as much as women need to learn to behave like a prize catch, men need to learn how to behave like real men – and believe me, even a guy who would make a good husband has been so brainwashed by society these days that he doesn’t know what to do when he meets a woman who behaves like a lady. I can’t tell you how many men wait for me to give them some type of indication that I enjoy time with them. I’m like, “Well, I’m here, and we are having a great time, right?” and they say something like, “but you never call me!” Are these guys just not suitor material?
I guess a real “suitor” would not wait for a lady to show specific interest before trying to date her, and wouldn’t let lack of phone contact deter him. But what if that guy has been burned badly in the past when he made his intentions obvious? He’d be a little gun shy by the time a girl like me came along, and would be waiting for a “sign” that I like him.
I’m a little frustrated today, because a guy that I’ve gone out on two dates with, and who I KNOW likes me and finds me attractive (He is normally very serious, but gets goofy and can barely gather his thoughts when I am around – which I find very flattering), hasn’t asked me out again. He wished me happy valentines day a week ago, but no contact since.
And yes, I messed up, lol. I had a weak moment last night and texted him (jokingly) about how I’m soooo cute, that he should ask me out again. I’ve never initiated contact before, not sure what got into me. I was somehow convinced that he needed a “sign”. Of course, now it’s the next day and no reply from him, so now my feelings are hurt. Why oh why didn’t I just follow your advice? It’s like I enjoy the torture! Boo
Exact same issue here!
These guys are all so softy! They need to step up and be a MAN!
Mina, I agree with you. If we rule out all the bad men-the abusers, weirdos etc., there are very few attractive/suitable men left. Of course that is not to say that we should settle for bad men or those who are not a good fit. Being single is better than being in a bad or a so-so relationship. However, given that there are few really good men and that most of these men are clueless about how to be a proper suitor, then there is little hope for us, no matter how much of a Prize Catch we are. Many times the pattern continues in relationships- men have no clue how to keep the relationship going and so it is up to the woman to keep it together. No wonder most divorces are filed by women-when they get tired of doing all the work. Men simply leave/disappear/abandon, escape/check-out (in alcohol, in their careers) or start having affairs (another kind of escape). They don’t bother fixing the relationship or bringing it to a proper termination through divorce.
I have been following The One’s advice and I have hardly any real suitors. Those who do ask me out have no idea what to do afterwards. Sometimes I don’t understand how all those millions of marriages are taking place.!!!! Who is making it happen?
The really interesting part is that whether men realize it or not, they need marriage more than women and it benefits them more. For some reason society has brainwashed women into believing that they are nothing without a man and so women almost singlehandedly face the pressure to get married. No wonder most of them are obsessed with getting married no matter how successful they are in their careers. The media simply feeds into this, making women look like they are desperate for a ring and a party. There are no groomzillas.
Even the biological clock theory is BS!! Men have biological clocks too. Just because a man can *technically* father a child at 90 years doesn’t mean his sperm will remain healthy at that age or that he would be able to fulfill his other duties as a father at that age. It is best for both sexes to have children before 40, not just women.
Just because men can sleep around without getting attached doesn’t mean that is a viable lifestyle forever. With age, men’s testosterone decreases.Their options will get limited with age. Not everybody can be Hugh Hefner. Ultimately men are human and they have emotional needs too. Unless a man is not the marrying kind or an inveterate player/sex manic, he will eventually want to settle into some kind of stable relationship even not marriage per se.
Men may not put much thought or effort into a courtship or relationship but its prognosis and demise affect them too. In fact, men take divorce and break ups harder than women both emotionally and physically-healthwise.
So it is in their interest to be the kind of suitors to win the best Prize Catch for them. So why aren’t men trying to be real men? Why aren’t they stepping up? It takes two to tango.
Well, I agree with your points. But here’s what I think is true of this world: MOST people are average/mediocre and stay that way because they don’t put in the effort to gain knowledge to grow. Most men are not great suitors and most women are not prize catches. Look at people around you, think of the family and friends you know personally, heck, look at what is portrayed in TV and movies (which reflect/parallel reality). One Truth’s blog is great in that it offers info and insight for women to become prize catches. And prize catches are women who truly value themselves and make the best of their lives. So many women settle because they don’t value themselves. I think if you focus on being kind to yourself and others and nurturing your passions, everything will fall into place. Great suitors may not be everywhere, but they do exist. Great suitors, like prize catches, are supposed to be rare! How many great things in this world are just hanging out on every corner? You don’t find diamonds just laying on the street. You have to be in a certain position to attract them in your life.
Hats off to you! Well said.
Really good point, moonbeam. I do rest assured and sleep like a princess because now, when I do come across that diamond, I know exactly what to do, thanks to this blog. 🙂
Yes! We are all having the same problems I see! How sad for us. If there were more real guys around, we all wouldn’t be sitting home on a Saturday night doing our nails and watching TV.
It’s easy to say “stay busy” but honestly, after a long work week, I am ready to go OUT and have fun! Not ready to take a class, not ready to catch up on my reading, not ready to “better myself”. lol. I stay busy at work, and scheduling stuff like classes and workouts on the weekends feels like MORE WORK. *sigh* I want to forget about that kind of stuff, and I want a good guy to help me forget about it. I always have my girlfriends, but sometimes you want to feel more special than a girlfriend can offer.
A bad relationship is not the answer of course, and neither is settling for a guy who wants you to chase him. But gosh, what slim pickings we have these days, when it comes to meeting quality men who know how to “court” you and appreciate that you are a lady.
Update on me though: Above guy did eventually text back, later the same day. We exchanged 8 or 10 texts, but still no date in sight. He was very complementary in the texts, but that means nothing without action. I think his style is just very slow, but in any case, I’m not going to worry about it too much. I’m still casually talking to a couple other guys but they are all the “lets text forever on the phone” type….grrr…
Mina,
Sadly, men have been trained by women who throw themselves at them. If every woman becomes a Prize Catch, no heterosexual man will have any choice BUT to become a suitor.
It’s a co-creative reality!
Sorry it’s such slim pickings but at least you know for sure now that texting leads to nowhere!
I wish I could agree wholeheartedly, and I swear I am not trying to be a debbie downer, but in many cases – he won’t step up and become a suitor, he’ll label you a high maintenance princess and go to the path of least resistance, which is the “sure thing” that is texting him pics of herself in her underwear and will give it up and boost his ego at the same time, without him having to do anything.
Anyway – I dunno. Maybe I am doing something? I smile, I don’t take things too seriously, I’m not controlling, I’m good looking, in shape, employed, I do my hair and nails, smell nice, wear heels, skirts. Men look at me all the time. One attractive guy at work says “Hey Halle Berry!” every time I cross his path… and I smile at the compliment and we make small talk for a minute or two, but he never asks me out. Yes, I have checked my breath to make sure it is not funked up to high heaven…lol.
Another story – Once, my car overheated on the highway with smoke billowing out everywhere. I had a man stop and help me in twenty seconds. I was very appreciative. He got my number and texted me later that night. It went like this. “How you doing? Oh that’s nice. So can you send me a pic? Me: Not right now, I barely know you. Him: Why not?” He never got around to asking me out anywhere. This was a 40 year old college professor!
Oh yeah – the guy from my earlier post? Never heard from him again either, despite him telling me I was sexy and that he really wanted to see me again.
I also had another date, with another guy…a 42 year old single dad who approached me in the coffee shop. He begged me to go out with him two Saturdays ago. Make time for me, he said. I really want to see you Saturday, he said. At 9pm Saturday, with no call from him – (our plans were for 8pm) I text him and said I was ready….his response? “I FORGOT!”
Ahem. Promptly deleted his number.
OH! Another guy I met who is my sister’s neighbor – asked me to lunch on a Sunday. Sunday rolls around, no word from him. A few days later, he texts me and apologizes and wants to make plans again. I guess I was in a good mood so I said OK. Yep, he “forgot” again and I haven’t heard from him since.
I’m telling you, when it comes push to shove…when it’s time to take action..as in TAKE ME ON A DATE so we can get to know each other…it’s like…. *crickets*
Women, if any of y’all find one of these increasingly rare “suitors” please let me know because I feel like I’d have better luck finding chewbacca.
Wow! I feel what you’re saying. It is frustrating, b/c as The One says men are conditioned to do very little because so many women will throw themselves at them and/or accept crumbs. But in the grand scheme of things you don’t want to be with a man who can’t muster the courage to ask you out on a proper date (and follow through!) As women we want to be cherished by a man who invests time and energy to woo us via dates. So, we continue to follow our passions, nurture ourselves, pursue our goals and when men who are worthy of us come along (and I am positive it WILL HAPPEN) well, that’s just icing on the cake 🙂
Continue to radiate positivity and well being and allow all the good you desire to flow towards you. I am in a similar situation as you are and I am wishing you all the best. And hey, if you look like Halle Berry, life must be good anyhow 🙂
Haha… Thanks Moonbeam 🙂
Hey, the One, do you think you can do a post on where to meet high-quality men who might be more into the “suitor” lifestyle?Where we can find men with brains, morals, and goals? I’m thinking of joining a book club or hanging out in Pep Boys or something, just to get in the same general area with them…lol
Mina,
I think that is a good idea for you to do. Quality men do quality things, and convene in quality places. Take an interest in what they are interested in, and go where they go!
Don’t avoid dabbling in something new. If it can open new doors and broaden your horizons (and throw in a suitor or two), WHY NOT?
I will be posting something along these lines and introducing an EGuide I’m working on called “The Prize Catch Single”, where this and many other issues concerning being single and attracting suitors will be addressed.
Sad but true — and hilariously put!
il watch out “The Prize Catch Single” 😀
Hi One!
I just wanted to update you. I think I found a suitor! Yay me! They do exist ladies! They are hard to find, but what do you know, they are still around. Thanks to this website, I can tell he has legit intentions. And, now that “real” has shown he is truly interested in me, I know exactly how to hold myself in high regard and have the right attitude and vibe regarding my dating life.
The LESS I do as far as trying to get his attention, reaching out to him, etc., the MORE interested he is, and the more attention I get from him! wow. The only time I reached out to him was when I truly had a problem he had expertise in, it was work related…he JUMPED at the opportunity to help me, and has offered to help me with anything else I need. Now, that’s a real man. woohoo
can I ask you how old are you or your suitor?
Just because I’m very curious, if you found a suitor among college-aged men (20-25), or older?
Anne,
I think it might be difficult for many college guys to become a suitor due to financial constraints, being too busy juggling a job and schoolwork (as in having no weekends or nights off), and also being of the generation that thinks hanging out is the way to go. If there’s a college guy who knows how to court a woman in spite of such obstacles, then he is a gem indeed.
Mina,
How wonderful! Thanks for confirming that this stuff works. Hope everyone reads this. Yes, he jumped because he recognized the rare breed that is the Prize Catch that you are. Keep it up, and enjoy the courtship. You deserve it after all those duds!
I’m positively thrilled for you.
Hi Anne,
I’m in my mid-30’s…been married, been divorced.
And, unfortunately, no longer seeing the man I described above!! Things were going so well..but he decided to dump me because I never offered to pay for anything!! See the “a man at any cost” post for details.
The advice here still holds true, and I consider the whole experience really good practice for when a real suitor does come along. I think the guy I talked about above just put on a really good front…I also think he had a drinking problem! All my uncles, my mom’s friends, and my guy friends say the guy was seriously coo-coo for dumping me for that reason. They agree with the One – he won’t mind paying for you, if he likes you.
Also – the other guy from above who thinks I’m the sexiest thing since sliced bread, who wished me Happy valentines day? I didn’t hear from him again until Easter…when he wished me a happy Easter! lol. He did explain that his schedule got switched to nights and turned his life upside down…but if he really wanted to see me, he’d make it work! he also wished me happy mothers day. This guy is just a holiday lover, I guess.
On to the next!